Harry never expected to see Zac again honestly after the Tulsa show. Harry never really did expect Zac would want to see him again even after their drunken kiss before he had went inside his hotel. Harry was just too damn afraid that he had scared Zac off for good but it seems he was wrong because Zac has shown up in Miami for the last show of the tour.
It was something that had surprised Harry when the guard had told him he had a visitor and when he left the backstage area to go see who it was he almost had a heart attack upon seeing Zac though luckily he didn't because he still had a show to perform and knowing Zac was there maybe made him perform better than he would have because he had been trying to show off, impress Zac but how much did he really have to impress him? If drunk him hadn't scared Zac off then maybe he was okay.
"I'm surprised you showed up," Harry speaks finally breaking his silence and he shifts on the blanket he is lying on in the back part of Zac's truck because Zac was actually dumb enough or maybe smart enough to drive all the way to Miami from Tulsa and right now they are both laying in the back of his truck in some parking lot of a run down and abandoned building on a back road that Harry isn't even sure how Zac knew it existed. "I was afraid drunk me had scared you off in Tulsa."
Zac laughs at those words and for a second Harry is almost scared he had truly scared Zac back then. "You really think drunk you scared me?" he asks and Harry can feel Zac's gaze on him which makes him blush. "You've never been around my brother when he is shit face drunk. He's probably worse than you."
Harry blushes more but turns his head to look at Zac, "I doubt he is hitting on you though and acting like a total fucking fangirl."
"Oh he may not act like a fangirl but he does hit on me," Zac speaks and Harry raises his eyebrow in question. "Taylor hits on everyone though but luckily I think even in his most drunken of states Taylor realizes we are brothers and would never cross that line with me, though really I bet he has crossed that line with men before."
"He never tried to cross that line with me in Tulsa," Harry chimes in knowing Taylor had been strictly platonic with him.
Zac once again laughs at Harry's words and again Harry is afraid he has messed up. It's almost funny but it's like he is constantly in need of Zac's approval and he almost blames that on the fact that he grew up with a life long crush on the man.
"It's because he knew you had a crush on me," Zac finally speaks which breaks up Harry's thoughts. "He usually tries not to sleep with people who like me."
"Usually," Harry mutters while trying not to laugh which earns him a glare from Zac, a glare that makes him stop laughing. "So...why are you here?" he asks once he has composed himself. "Not that I'm complaining because laying in the bed of your truck on this blanket with you is kind of romantic."
Zac shakes his head at that and Harry swears if it wasn't dark out that he could probably see the older man blush. "Can't I just want to see you?" he asks though Harry is sure he hears a hint of something else in Zac's voice but he can't place the emotion.
"But you seemed like you hated me in Tulsa," Harry answers as he moves just a bit closer to Zac. "You kept telling me to shut up."
"I don't hate you. I told you I was just jealous," Zac sighs as he bites his lip. "You're out..well at least to the people who matter," he clarifies before Harry has chance to interrupt and do it for him. "I..I guess that is partly why I am here. To tell you I plan on coming out to them on New Year's day. Why not start 2015 off with a bang, right?"
Harry stares at Zac silently for awhile before deciding to speak, "And you're positive telling them is what you want to do?" he asks feeling a bit proud for Zac right now for coming to such a huge decision.
Zac nods, "Positive as I can be," he says and Harry watches as Zac looks away from him. "That's basically the only thing I have planned for 2015 and it scares me shitless and that's why I came to see you, okay. Because you're out to your family and friends and I just..I need someone to talk too whose been there."
"I'm kind of flattered," Harry blushes as he speaks and he is being honest. He is flattered that Zac wants to talk to him and god damn it he swears just maybe his stupid boyish crush on Zac has grown a size or two. "I..I think I may find a way to come out to the fans next year," he adds on seeing Zac look at him again.
"But don't you have a contract?" Zac asks his voice coming out confused.
Harry nods his head in response, "Yeah, but I'm just sick of living the closet and I don't know if a contract is worth being miserable over. I...I don't want to get in trouble or get the band in trouble but I do want to be free and be happy," he sighs knowing he has wanted that for some time but it seems ever since he lost Louis that feeling has only gotten stronger.
"But when did you change your mind on all that?" Zac asks another question and Harry is sure he hears genuine confusion in Zac's voice. "I mean when you first signed the contract you had to know you'd be put in the closet right?"
"I did, yeah," Harry admits as he frowns. "But I was young and naive. I never expected it to last this long and..well...I had Louis and it made it a little better then."
It's after his confession on the Louis part that things go silent and it's in the silence that Harry realizes he has just confirmed to Zac that he was indeed with Louis and he has inadvertently outed Louis too, even if Louis still claims he is no longer gay and still loves Eleanor whom Harry is sure he hates just a bit because every time he sees them together he feels like he is having salt rubbed in an open wound.
"So you did date Louis?" Zac asks finally breaking the silence and Harry isn't sure he is relieved or not, mainly because even though he confirmed it already he doesn't want to vocally confirm it with a yes.
Harry closes his eyes briefly as he takes a deep breath and he can't help but hope he is doing the right thing, "Yeah, we did date but Louis now claims he isn't gay anymore. He broke up with me last year for some girl named Eleanor, claims he loves her and being gay was just some silly phase."
"And do you believe him?" Zac asks and as he speaks Harry can feel Zac moving closer which makes him open his eyes again. He is surprised at just how close Zac has gotten though it's a good surprised.
Harry shakes his head as he locks eyes with Zac, "No," he answers plainly because it's the truth. He doesn't believe that being gay was a phase for Louis and he thinks for some reason Louis has now just gone back into the closet and he wishes he knew why. "Maybe a part of me hopes if I come out he'll be brave enough to do the same...and we can...we can get back together," he whispers knowing that even with Louis hurting him a part of him loves Louis because Louis was his first everything and maybe your first love always owns every little piece of you even if you hate it.
"And here I thought you wanted me," Zac teases which eventually causes Harry to crack a smile. "I mean you sure were throwing yourself at me in Tulsa and we kissed. I should've known you were just using me to get over Louis and possibly brag about having sex with me."
Laughing Harry smiles more as he rolls his eyes, "I wasn't using you and anyway you said I wasn't your type so I don't think you'd care if I still want to get back together with Louis next year after I come out."
"I know I said you weren't my type, but you could be," Zac says and Harry just looks at him as his mouth drops open and he is sure he feels his eyes widen and Zac starts to laugh which makes Harry want to punch him, though not too hard because how can he hurt someone so cute? "I..I never really have given any a guy a chance before not even the one Kate caught me giving a blow job too. That's as far as I ever went with him or anyone."
Harry blushes at that but once he has control of his brain he decides to speak, "Are you saying you want to fuck me Zachary Hanson?"
His question seems to make Zac blush and cause him to look away, "I don't think I'd be so opposed to it," he admits and Harry is half sure this is a really good dream he is having and not reality. "But it will be hard to fuck you once you come out and get back together with Louis."
Just staring at Zac, Harry feels himself blush more and he bites his lip, "Well..maybe we can fuck before I come out and get back with Louis?" he asks as he nods his head slightly. "But it has to be after you come out. I don't want to fuck you until after you come out."
"Deal," Zac seemingly agrees and before Harry can respond to him he feels Zac's lips on his own and he is surprised by this kiss because for once he didn't initiate it, Zac did and this is a good change from their meeting in Tulsa and well it's also a really good kiss, a kiss he lets happen and he closes his eyes for.
As the kiss continues Harry lets his arm somehow snake it's way across Zac's hips and he feels content, almost like he could get used to kissing Zac and he thinks it's almost a shame that he now has most of 2015 figured out. Fuck Zac after he comes out and then come out to the public himself and hopefully win Louis back so they can both be free together like they always planned, there is no room for changing those plans even if he could be okay with kissing Zac for the rest of his life. Zac isn't his forever...Louis is his forever.
Pulling away from the kiss almost reluctantly Harry heaves a sigh as he bites his lip briefly, "We..we should get going," he speaks almost stuttering at first. "I have a flight to Los Angeles to catch early in the morning and you probably have to start the long trek back to Tulsa," he says as he sits up and moves his arm off of Zac before finding a way down out of Zac's turck.
Zac stays silent as he too gets down and folds the blanket they had been laying on and Harry isn't sure he likes Zac's silence because he doesn't know if it's the good kind or the bad kind.
"You know," Zac begins after the blanket is folded and under his arm. "Maybe if you fuck me you might not want to go back to Louis. I could just be that good that I ruin your plans."
Harry can't help but laugh at that and he shakes his head, "Someone is very cocky of their abilities when they've never even fucked a man before," he says as he smirks and inches closer to Zac. "But I highly doubt you could ruin my plans. Once I set my mind to something I don't change it," he admits before kissing Zac again on the lips but this kiss is much more brief and chaste.
"Now drive me back to my hotel you cute chauffeur," Harry teases after he pulls away and he walks towards the passenger side. "I need my beauty rest before my flight, otherwise I will look horrible."
"I doubt you could ever look horrible," Zac responds which makes Harry's heart leap in his chest some. "You're kind of on Taylor level beauty. Even without sleep you'd still be hot as hell."
It was something that had surprised Harry when the guard had told him he had a visitor and when he left the backstage area to go see who it was he almost had a heart attack upon seeing Zac though luckily he didn't because he still had a show to perform and knowing Zac was there maybe made him perform better than he would have because he had been trying to show off, impress Zac but how much did he really have to impress him? If drunk him hadn't scared Zac off then maybe he was okay.
"I'm surprised you showed up," Harry speaks finally breaking his silence and he shifts on the blanket he is lying on in the back part of Zac's truck because Zac was actually dumb enough or maybe smart enough to drive all the way to Miami from Tulsa and right now they are both laying in the back of his truck in some parking lot of a run down and abandoned building on a back road that Harry isn't even sure how Zac knew it existed. "I was afraid drunk me had scared you off in Tulsa."
Zac laughs at those words and for a second Harry is almost scared he had truly scared Zac back then. "You really think drunk you scared me?" he asks and Harry can feel Zac's gaze on him which makes him blush. "You've never been around my brother when he is shit face drunk. He's probably worse than you."
Harry blushes more but turns his head to look at Zac, "I doubt he is hitting on you though and acting like a total fucking fangirl."
"Oh he may not act like a fangirl but he does hit on me," Zac speaks and Harry raises his eyebrow in question. "Taylor hits on everyone though but luckily I think even in his most drunken of states Taylor realizes we are brothers and would never cross that line with me, though really I bet he has crossed that line with men before."
"He never tried to cross that line with me in Tulsa," Harry chimes in knowing Taylor had been strictly platonic with him.
Zac once again laughs at Harry's words and again Harry is afraid he has messed up. It's almost funny but it's like he is constantly in need of Zac's approval and he almost blames that on the fact that he grew up with a life long crush on the man.
"It's because he knew you had a crush on me," Zac finally speaks which breaks up Harry's thoughts. "He usually tries not to sleep with people who like me."
"Usually," Harry mutters while trying not to laugh which earns him a glare from Zac, a glare that makes him stop laughing. "So...why are you here?" he asks once he has composed himself. "Not that I'm complaining because laying in the bed of your truck on this blanket with you is kind of romantic."
Zac shakes his head at that and Harry swears if it wasn't dark out that he could probably see the older man blush. "Can't I just want to see you?" he asks though Harry is sure he hears a hint of something else in Zac's voice but he can't place the emotion.
"But you seemed like you hated me in Tulsa," Harry answers as he moves just a bit closer to Zac. "You kept telling me to shut up."
"I don't hate you. I told you I was just jealous," Zac sighs as he bites his lip. "You're out..well at least to the people who matter," he clarifies before Harry has chance to interrupt and do it for him. "I..I guess that is partly why I am here. To tell you I plan on coming out to them on New Year's day. Why not start 2015 off with a bang, right?"
Harry stares at Zac silently for awhile before deciding to speak, "And you're positive telling them is what you want to do?" he asks feeling a bit proud for Zac right now for coming to such a huge decision.
Zac nods, "Positive as I can be," he says and Harry watches as Zac looks away from him. "That's basically the only thing I have planned for 2015 and it scares me shitless and that's why I came to see you, okay. Because you're out to your family and friends and I just..I need someone to talk too whose been there."
"I'm kind of flattered," Harry blushes as he speaks and he is being honest. He is flattered that Zac wants to talk to him and god damn it he swears just maybe his stupid boyish crush on Zac has grown a size or two. "I..I think I may find a way to come out to the fans next year," he adds on seeing Zac look at him again.
"But don't you have a contract?" Zac asks his voice coming out confused.
Harry nods his head in response, "Yeah, but I'm just sick of living the closet and I don't know if a contract is worth being miserable over. I...I don't want to get in trouble or get the band in trouble but I do want to be free and be happy," he sighs knowing he has wanted that for some time but it seems ever since he lost Louis that feeling has only gotten stronger.
"But when did you change your mind on all that?" Zac asks another question and Harry is sure he hears genuine confusion in Zac's voice. "I mean when you first signed the contract you had to know you'd be put in the closet right?"
"I did, yeah," Harry admits as he frowns. "But I was young and naive. I never expected it to last this long and..well...I had Louis and it made it a little better then."
It's after his confession on the Louis part that things go silent and it's in the silence that Harry realizes he has just confirmed to Zac that he was indeed with Louis and he has inadvertently outed Louis too, even if Louis still claims he is no longer gay and still loves Eleanor whom Harry is sure he hates just a bit because every time he sees them together he feels like he is having salt rubbed in an open wound.
"So you did date Louis?" Zac asks finally breaking the silence and Harry isn't sure he is relieved or not, mainly because even though he confirmed it already he doesn't want to vocally confirm it with a yes.
Harry closes his eyes briefly as he takes a deep breath and he can't help but hope he is doing the right thing, "Yeah, we did date but Louis now claims he isn't gay anymore. He broke up with me last year for some girl named Eleanor, claims he loves her and being gay was just some silly phase."
"And do you believe him?" Zac asks and as he speaks Harry can feel Zac moving closer which makes him open his eyes again. He is surprised at just how close Zac has gotten though it's a good surprised.
Harry shakes his head as he locks eyes with Zac, "No," he answers plainly because it's the truth. He doesn't believe that being gay was a phase for Louis and he thinks for some reason Louis has now just gone back into the closet and he wishes he knew why. "Maybe a part of me hopes if I come out he'll be brave enough to do the same...and we can...we can get back together," he whispers knowing that even with Louis hurting him a part of him loves Louis because Louis was his first everything and maybe your first love always owns every little piece of you even if you hate it.
"And here I thought you wanted me," Zac teases which eventually causes Harry to crack a smile. "I mean you sure were throwing yourself at me in Tulsa and we kissed. I should've known you were just using me to get over Louis and possibly brag about having sex with me."
Laughing Harry smiles more as he rolls his eyes, "I wasn't using you and anyway you said I wasn't your type so I don't think you'd care if I still want to get back together with Louis next year after I come out."
"I know I said you weren't my type, but you could be," Zac says and Harry just looks at him as his mouth drops open and he is sure he feels his eyes widen and Zac starts to laugh which makes Harry want to punch him, though not too hard because how can he hurt someone so cute? "I..I never really have given any a guy a chance before not even the one Kate caught me giving a blow job too. That's as far as I ever went with him or anyone."
Harry blushes at that but once he has control of his brain he decides to speak, "Are you saying you want to fuck me Zachary Hanson?"
His question seems to make Zac blush and cause him to look away, "I don't think I'd be so opposed to it," he admits and Harry is half sure this is a really good dream he is having and not reality. "But it will be hard to fuck you once you come out and get back together with Louis."
Just staring at Zac, Harry feels himself blush more and he bites his lip, "Well..maybe we can fuck before I come out and get back with Louis?" he asks as he nods his head slightly. "But it has to be after you come out. I don't want to fuck you until after you come out."
"Deal," Zac seemingly agrees and before Harry can respond to him he feels Zac's lips on his own and he is surprised by this kiss because for once he didn't initiate it, Zac did and this is a good change from their meeting in Tulsa and well it's also a really good kiss, a kiss he lets happen and he closes his eyes for.
As the kiss continues Harry lets his arm somehow snake it's way across Zac's hips and he feels content, almost like he could get used to kissing Zac and he thinks it's almost a shame that he now has most of 2015 figured out. Fuck Zac after he comes out and then come out to the public himself and hopefully win Louis back so they can both be free together like they always planned, there is no room for changing those plans even if he could be okay with kissing Zac for the rest of his life. Zac isn't his forever...Louis is his forever.
Pulling away from the kiss almost reluctantly Harry heaves a sigh as he bites his lip briefly, "We..we should get going," he speaks almost stuttering at first. "I have a flight to Los Angeles to catch early in the morning and you probably have to start the long trek back to Tulsa," he says as he sits up and moves his arm off of Zac before finding a way down out of Zac's turck.
Zac stays silent as he too gets down and folds the blanket they had been laying on and Harry isn't sure he likes Zac's silence because he doesn't know if it's the good kind or the bad kind.
"You know," Zac begins after the blanket is folded and under his arm. "Maybe if you fuck me you might not want to go back to Louis. I could just be that good that I ruin your plans."
Harry can't help but laugh at that and he shakes his head, "Someone is very cocky of their abilities when they've never even fucked a man before," he says as he smirks and inches closer to Zac. "But I highly doubt you could ruin my plans. Once I set my mind to something I don't change it," he admits before kissing Zac again on the lips but this kiss is much more brief and chaste.
"Now drive me back to my hotel you cute chauffeur," Harry teases after he pulls away and he walks towards the passenger side. "I need my beauty rest before my flight, otherwise I will look horrible."
"I doubt you could ever look horrible," Zac responds which makes Harry's heart leap in his chest some. "You're kind of on Taylor level beauty. Even without sleep you'd still be hot as hell."
