Scared Ground Chapter Three
Avery sat at her kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee. It had been three days since her run in with Zac. Three days in which she had done everything to avoid her normal hang out spots and routines. She was scared of running into him again and she was even more scared of him seeing her when she had her kids, especially Stella.
Stella though was no wanting to see her Grandma Jo and after two days of saying no Avery wasn't exactly sure she could say no anymore and so that's why she had called Jolene this morning and asked her to come over. It was Sunday and all the kids were still here. Normally she would have asked one of her sister's to take them to church for her but today neither boy had wanted to go and instead had opted out to watch cartoons instead and Stella had thrown a fit because she wanted to see Grandma Jo.
Hearing a knock at the door Avery was brought out of her thoughts and she stood up from the table. Going to the door she pulled it open and forced a smile when she saw Jolene. "Come in Jo," she said moving aside so the woman could come in. "Stella's probably in her room playing or still throwing a fit but I haven't heard any toys being thrown so maybe that's a good sign."
Jolene laughed slightly at Avery's words, "I'll go see here in a second," she said as she walked inside and took her coat off. "First I wanted to talk to you," she said as she nodded her head some.
"If it's about your son I don't really want to talk about him," Avery sighed as she chewed her lip and walked into the kitchen. Sitting down at the table again she picked up her cup of coffee which was now almost cold and took a drink.
"He told me he ran into you," Jolene continued as she walked into the kitchen behind Avery. "I knew he was going to look for you and I told him not too," she said knowing it was best to be honest. "I knew it would just reopen old wounds but he didn't listen and he is still intent on seeing you again even after seeing you already and having you run off."
As Jolene continued to talk Avery tried to tune her out but she couldn't. She kept listening and when Jolene mentioned seeing him again reopening old wounds Avery huffed out her agreement at that. It would reopen old wounds. It had already and god forbid when she told Taylor that Zac was back.
At Avery's silence Jolene looked down, "I think you should tell him about Stella," she finally said as she kept her eyes away from Avery. "I'm not saying you should hear him about the other stuff because I get that but I think he deserves to know about his daughter. I hate lying to him and I had too the other day. I had to say that Taylor was her father and that killed me."
"Taylor is her father," Avery spoke up finally as she shook her head. "He's the one that was here. He never left me and if Zac hadn't left then maybe he'd know about Stella. Maybe he'd know because we would be a family with her. I was in love with him Jolene and I would have been a family with him but he choose to leave and then Taylor agreed to step in and be Stella's father."
"Taylor did step in and I'm grateful he did but Zac can know now. Zac isn't with Brenda and you don't have to worry about wrecking that relationship," Jolene said knowing Avery had used that as her biggest reason not to tell Zac. "Unless you deliberately kept Zac in the dark because he hurt you. Then that's just wrong."
Avery laughed some as she finished her coffee, "You are going to get onto me for what's wrong to do?" she asked her tone coming out harsh. "You never told Walker about Zac and don't tell me you kept quite because of Diana all this time," she said as she shook her head. "It's not like Diana could do anything if you told. You kept quite because you deliberately wanted to keep Walker in the dark because he hurt you," she said using Jolene's own words. "So don't get on to me for doing what you did," she sighed admitting that part of her keeping Stella's paternity from Zac was out of spite.
Going silent Jolene finally looked up at Avery, "I know what I did was wrong Avery and I've cost Zac years from his true family. From knowing his father and brothers but I'm asking you not to do the same with Stella. She deserves to know her dad, her real one who can love her with just as much love as Taylor has for her."
Running a hand through her hair Avery looked down into her empty coffee mug, "I'll tell Zac when you decide to tell him about his own paternity," she finally spoke as she chewed on her lip. "Now please drop the subject and go see your granddaughter," she nodded towards the entry way of the kitchen.
Jolene didn't say anything else to Avery. Instead she turned and left the kitchen. She wasn't sure she could keep Avery's secret anymore and she knew if the girl didn't tell Zac then she would.
After Jolene left the kitchen Avery stayed seated at the table for the longest time. But eventually she stood up and did the dishes from breakfast before heading upstairs to check on Jonah and Charlie who she had found playing some video game. After checking on them she pecked in on Stella and Jolene smiling when she saw them having a fake tea party. Stella may have been a tomboy but she did love her fake tea parties.
Leaving Stella's room she headed to her room where she grabbed her clothes then went into the bathroom to shower. It was in the shower that she let herself think of Jolene's pleas to tell Zac the truth. Maybe in a way she had always wanted to tell him. She had known going into this when she kept her baby...their baby that he could find out and maybe she wanted that, though not to hurt him. She had wanted it so she could always have a part of him and keep him in her life once he knew because deep down as afraid as she was of him leaving she suspected once he knew about a child he wouldn't run as easily.
Finally getting out of the shower once the water turned cold Avery dried off and dressed. When she left she went downstairs where she found a note from Jolene on the table beside the door. She said she had to leave because of work but that she still wanted Avery to consider telling Zac the truth. She had even put in Zac's cell phone number which was the same as it had been before.
Closing her eyes Avery laid the note back down not sure what to do. She knew she had seemed so confident when talking to Jolene but even she had to admit that a part of her had always wanted to tell Zac especially after Stella had called him dada. Something she was reminded of because she still had that video and sometimes even since getting back on good terms with Taylor she still watched that video and she still let herself get lost in the what-if's. The what-if's that always seemed to rule her life though now they were because of her regret on lying to Zac. On keeping this huge fucking secret from him.
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That night Avery sighed as she sat on the back porch in a coat with an ashtray by her side. She had just gotten the kids bathed and at least they were all in the living room winding down from the day as they watched a movie and she had came outside to smoke. It was the one bad habit she didn't like to do around her kids so instead whenever she smoked she always made sure to go outside even if it was winter time.
Finishing off her cigarette she frowned as she looked down at the phone in her hand. She had tried calling Taylor to just talk to him hoping it would settle her nerves or any feelings she had that were leaning towards telling Zac the truth but he hadn't answered his phone. Instead she had gotten his voice-mail. She knew she was probably paranoid but not getting a hold of him just made her suspect that he had his phone off because he was with someone else. That he had brought someone to Arizona with him or that he had even picked up a woman there.
Hell besides not getting a hold of him he hadn't called since being away. Something he had promised he'd do so he could at least check up on the kids.
"Or maybe I just want to make him the bad guy for once so I feel a little better about my life," Avery mused aloud as she rolled her eyes. She hadn't feeling horrible but Jolene had gotten to her. Jolene had made her actually consider reaching out to Zac and telling him the truth even if right now she was pissed at Zac and hated him for what he had done to her, how he had left her.
Looking up at the sky she sighed when she saw a shooting star. Closing her eyes she couldn't help but feel like a child again and go back to that whole when you wish upon a star thing and that's what she did. She found herself making a wish on a star. A wish that she could erase her one biggest regret.
Opening her eyes she shook her head, "Like that will ever happen," she whispered under her breath as she stood up and headed inside. Once she was in she shut and locked the back door then emptied the ashtray. Laying the ashtray on the counter she then headed to the front of the house where she took her coat off and put it on the rack before going into the living room and checking on her kids.
Smiling as she saw Charlie and Stella both curled up on pillows asleep she looked at Jonah who was still awake and watching the movie. "I'm going to put Charlie and Stelly to bed. After I do then it's bed time for you too little man. You have school tomorrow."
Jonah crinkled his nose as he watched his mom pick up Stella, "I'm not little anymore," he said as he rolled his eyes. "You don't have to call me little man."
Stopping in her tracks as she held a sleeping Stella in one arm and Charlie in the other Avery frowned knowing that Jonah was right. He was growing up on her. "Don't remind me," she smiled as she turned to look at him and then proceeded to carry her two sleeping children up the stairs.
Avery was thankful that she was able to tuck them in without an incident and when she went down to get Jonah she was also thankful that he too went to bed without an argument because he had liked to start arguments over his bed time and she had feared without Taylor here that he would be worse but so far the past few days hadn't been so bad.
After getting Jonah to bed Avery then went into her room where she changed for bed and laid down. It was after she laid down that she tried calling Taylor again and rolled her eyes when she couldn't get a hold of him again. "Asshole," she muttered under her breath annoyed that he wasn't picking up her calls.
Laying down against the pillows she eventually went to sleep and was only woken once during the night when she heard Stella ask if she could join her mommy in bed. Avery had of course agreed because how could she turn down Stelly especially when she gave that smile of hers. A smile that Avery was certain had came from Zac.
Avery sat at her kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee. It had been three days since her run in with Zac. Three days in which she had done everything to avoid her normal hang out spots and routines. She was scared of running into him again and she was even more scared of him seeing her when she had her kids, especially Stella.
Stella though was no wanting to see her Grandma Jo and after two days of saying no Avery wasn't exactly sure she could say no anymore and so that's why she had called Jolene this morning and asked her to come over. It was Sunday and all the kids were still here. Normally she would have asked one of her sister's to take them to church for her but today neither boy had wanted to go and instead had opted out to watch cartoons instead and Stella had thrown a fit because she wanted to see Grandma Jo.
Hearing a knock at the door Avery was brought out of her thoughts and she stood up from the table. Going to the door she pulled it open and forced a smile when she saw Jolene. "Come in Jo," she said moving aside so the woman could come in. "Stella's probably in her room playing or still throwing a fit but I haven't heard any toys being thrown so maybe that's a good sign."
Jolene laughed slightly at Avery's words, "I'll go see here in a second," she said as she walked inside and took her coat off. "First I wanted to talk to you," she said as she nodded her head some.
"If it's about your son I don't really want to talk about him," Avery sighed as she chewed her lip and walked into the kitchen. Sitting down at the table again she picked up her cup of coffee which was now almost cold and took a drink.
"He told me he ran into you," Jolene continued as she walked into the kitchen behind Avery. "I knew he was going to look for you and I told him not too," she said knowing it was best to be honest. "I knew it would just reopen old wounds but he didn't listen and he is still intent on seeing you again even after seeing you already and having you run off."
As Jolene continued to talk Avery tried to tune her out but she couldn't. She kept listening and when Jolene mentioned seeing him again reopening old wounds Avery huffed out her agreement at that. It would reopen old wounds. It had already and god forbid when she told Taylor that Zac was back.
At Avery's silence Jolene looked down, "I think you should tell him about Stella," she finally said as she kept her eyes away from Avery. "I'm not saying you should hear him about the other stuff because I get that but I think he deserves to know about his daughter. I hate lying to him and I had too the other day. I had to say that Taylor was her father and that killed me."
"Taylor is her father," Avery spoke up finally as she shook her head. "He's the one that was here. He never left me and if Zac hadn't left then maybe he'd know about Stella. Maybe he'd know because we would be a family with her. I was in love with him Jolene and I would have been a family with him but he choose to leave and then Taylor agreed to step in and be Stella's father."
"Taylor did step in and I'm grateful he did but Zac can know now. Zac isn't with Brenda and you don't have to worry about wrecking that relationship," Jolene said knowing Avery had used that as her biggest reason not to tell Zac. "Unless you deliberately kept Zac in the dark because he hurt you. Then that's just wrong."
Avery laughed some as she finished her coffee, "You are going to get onto me for what's wrong to do?" she asked her tone coming out harsh. "You never told Walker about Zac and don't tell me you kept quite because of Diana all this time," she said as she shook her head. "It's not like Diana could do anything if you told. You kept quite because you deliberately wanted to keep Walker in the dark because he hurt you," she said using Jolene's own words. "So don't get on to me for doing what you did," she sighed admitting that part of her keeping Stella's paternity from Zac was out of spite.
Going silent Jolene finally looked up at Avery, "I know what I did was wrong Avery and I've cost Zac years from his true family. From knowing his father and brothers but I'm asking you not to do the same with Stella. She deserves to know her dad, her real one who can love her with just as much love as Taylor has for her."
Running a hand through her hair Avery looked down into her empty coffee mug, "I'll tell Zac when you decide to tell him about his own paternity," she finally spoke as she chewed on her lip. "Now please drop the subject and go see your granddaughter," she nodded towards the entry way of the kitchen.
Jolene didn't say anything else to Avery. Instead she turned and left the kitchen. She wasn't sure she could keep Avery's secret anymore and she knew if the girl didn't tell Zac then she would.
After Jolene left the kitchen Avery stayed seated at the table for the longest time. But eventually she stood up and did the dishes from breakfast before heading upstairs to check on Jonah and Charlie who she had found playing some video game. After checking on them she pecked in on Stella and Jolene smiling when she saw them having a fake tea party. Stella may have been a tomboy but she did love her fake tea parties.
Leaving Stella's room she headed to her room where she grabbed her clothes then went into the bathroom to shower. It was in the shower that she let herself think of Jolene's pleas to tell Zac the truth. Maybe in a way she had always wanted to tell him. She had known going into this when she kept her baby...their baby that he could find out and maybe she wanted that, though not to hurt him. She had wanted it so she could always have a part of him and keep him in her life once he knew because deep down as afraid as she was of him leaving she suspected once he knew about a child he wouldn't run as easily.
Finally getting out of the shower once the water turned cold Avery dried off and dressed. When she left she went downstairs where she found a note from Jolene on the table beside the door. She said she had to leave because of work but that she still wanted Avery to consider telling Zac the truth. She had even put in Zac's cell phone number which was the same as it had been before.
Closing her eyes Avery laid the note back down not sure what to do. She knew she had seemed so confident when talking to Jolene but even she had to admit that a part of her had always wanted to tell Zac especially after Stella had called him dada. Something she was reminded of because she still had that video and sometimes even since getting back on good terms with Taylor she still watched that video and she still let herself get lost in the what-if's. The what-if's that always seemed to rule her life though now they were because of her regret on lying to Zac. On keeping this huge fucking secret from him.
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That night Avery sighed as she sat on the back porch in a coat with an ashtray by her side. She had just gotten the kids bathed and at least they were all in the living room winding down from the day as they watched a movie and she had came outside to smoke. It was the one bad habit she didn't like to do around her kids so instead whenever she smoked she always made sure to go outside even if it was winter time.
Finishing off her cigarette she frowned as she looked down at the phone in her hand. She had tried calling Taylor to just talk to him hoping it would settle her nerves or any feelings she had that were leaning towards telling Zac the truth but he hadn't answered his phone. Instead she had gotten his voice-mail. She knew she was probably paranoid but not getting a hold of him just made her suspect that he had his phone off because he was with someone else. That he had brought someone to Arizona with him or that he had even picked up a woman there.
Hell besides not getting a hold of him he hadn't called since being away. Something he had promised he'd do so he could at least check up on the kids.
"Or maybe I just want to make him the bad guy for once so I feel a little better about my life," Avery mused aloud as she rolled her eyes. She hadn't feeling horrible but Jolene had gotten to her. Jolene had made her actually consider reaching out to Zac and telling him the truth even if right now she was pissed at Zac and hated him for what he had done to her, how he had left her.
Looking up at the sky she sighed when she saw a shooting star. Closing her eyes she couldn't help but feel like a child again and go back to that whole when you wish upon a star thing and that's what she did. She found herself making a wish on a star. A wish that she could erase her one biggest regret.
Opening her eyes she shook her head, "Like that will ever happen," she whispered under her breath as she stood up and headed inside. Once she was in she shut and locked the back door then emptied the ashtray. Laying the ashtray on the counter she then headed to the front of the house where she took her coat off and put it on the rack before going into the living room and checking on her kids.
Smiling as she saw Charlie and Stella both curled up on pillows asleep she looked at Jonah who was still awake and watching the movie. "I'm going to put Charlie and Stelly to bed. After I do then it's bed time for you too little man. You have school tomorrow."
Jonah crinkled his nose as he watched his mom pick up Stella, "I'm not little anymore," he said as he rolled his eyes. "You don't have to call me little man."
Stopping in her tracks as she held a sleeping Stella in one arm and Charlie in the other Avery frowned knowing that Jonah was right. He was growing up on her. "Don't remind me," she smiled as she turned to look at him and then proceeded to carry her two sleeping children up the stairs.
Avery was thankful that she was able to tuck them in without an incident and when she went down to get Jonah she was also thankful that he too went to bed without an argument because he had liked to start arguments over his bed time and she had feared without Taylor here that he would be worse but so far the past few days hadn't been so bad.
After getting Jonah to bed Avery then went into her room where she changed for bed and laid down. It was after she laid down that she tried calling Taylor again and rolled her eyes when she couldn't get a hold of him again. "Asshole," she muttered under her breath annoyed that he wasn't picking up her calls.
Laying down against the pillows she eventually went to sleep and was only woken once during the night when she heard Stella ask if she could join her mommy in bed. Avery had of course agreed because how could she turn down Stelly especially when she gave that smile of hers. A smile that Avery was certain had came from Zac.
