My Life's At The Table With Yours
Avery held the camera as she sat at the restaurant in California, pointing it towards Stella who was now almost seven months old. In a few more days she'd be seven months old and Avery swore she was growing like a weed each and every day. She and Taylor along with Stella and Zoe who had tagged along to watch Stella had been in California now for three days.
Taylor had came here for some conference on photography and during the days when he was in meetings she got to sight see and she would. She'd take Zoe and Stella out on all sorts of adventures and today was one of those sort of. They were really just a few buildings down from their hotel having lunch.
"You know I don't know why you constantly have to be filming her today," Zoe said as she looked over at her sister who had the camera held to her niece who sat contently in a high chair as she just babbled up a storm. Not all of her words made sense right now but sometimes she swore she heard some words that did make sense.
Avery turned to look at Zoe, "Because Stelly has been talking up a storm today and Taylor thinks that she may say dada. She was actually very close this morning before he had to leave but she never got the word out," she shrugged. "I think he is just let down her first word was tata and if her second word is dada he'll get an ego boost and get to throw it in my face."
"Tata?" Zoe asked raising her eyebrow curiously.
Nodding Avery looked down at her breasts, "Tata for boobs," she laughed as she blushed some. "Whenever I breast fed her Taylor would refer to them as my tata's and I guess she heard it too much and one day before I fed her she said that word. Then she started saying it every time she was hungry."
Zoe laughed as she looked away from her sister, "When was this?"
"Three weeks ago," Avery answered as she shot Zoe a glare when Zoe laughed. "She still does it too but not as much," she said feeling relieved. "Jonah found it amusing but then again he is six almost seven and will find anything amusing that really shouldn't be."
"And he is too much like his dad and is just annoying," Zoe teased as she shook her head when she was finally able to look at her sister. "Do you like your mommy's tatas Stelly?" she asked her niece as she bent down towards the high chair.
Rolling her eyes as Zoe talked to Stella, Avery sighed when she heard Stella say tata's and she turned the camera towards herself, "Reminder to delete that part later," she said before putting the camera back on Stella. "Stelly can you say dada?" she asked seeing her daughter turn to look at her confused.
"Yeah I don't think dada is coming anytime soon," Zoe said as she looked at Avery. "Not to break Taylor's poor fragile heart when he sees this video though," she teased knowing she liked to give Taylor a hard time. It could be fun.
Avery shrugged, "Don't be rude," she said as she handed the camera towards Zoe. "Can you film though? I have to go to the bathroom and I think after that we can go. I need to head back to the hotel and shower because I think Taylor wants to go out tonight when he gets back."
Nodding Zoe took the camera from Avery and then watched her sister walk off, "Hey there pretty girl," she said as she turned the camera on Stella. "Are you going to say dada for me? I am your favorite aunt so say dada for me. Pwease," she spoke before sticking her lip out and pouting.
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Zac who held his iPod in one hand and his ear buds in another hummed to a song as he walked down the semi crowded Los Angeles street heading to the restaurant where he was supposed to be meeting Brenda and a few friends for lunch. He knew he was early but the class he had been teaching at the college had gotten out early and for once he actually wanted to prove Brenda wrong and prove he could show up on time.
Going into the restaurant when he arrived he looked around though before he could spot an empty table he spotted a blast from his not too distant past and felt his cheeks get warm. Taking the iPod headphones out Zac stuck the iPod in his jeans before walking over to the table.
"Zoe?" he asked coming to a stop in front of her and a baby in a high chair. A baby who just looked up at him and smiled once she heard his voice and her smile melted his heart though then again kids seemed to have that affect on him. He had always loved being around his friends kids and he had hoped one day Brenda would change her mind about the no baby thing but she said she despised kids and didn't want little brats running around.
Zoe who had been filming Stella looked up at Zac and she plastered on a fake smile, "Zac," she said as she felt nervous for him to be around Stella right now. She wasn't stupid and she knew neither was anyone else in their family. Everyone knew Stella was his, heck she even had Zac's brown eyes right down to the shape.
Smiling when Zoe acknowledged him he bent down to the baby in the high chair, "I didn't know you had a baby," he smirked before pinching the baby's cheek. "Aren't you just an adorable little thing?" he asked when the baby turned to look at him with her huge brown eyes. Her eyes were enough to freeze him slightly because they looked familiar though he couldn't place them.
"She's not.." Zoe started but stopped trying to think of a words to say to him to tell him whose baby that was. "I mean she's.." she sighed as she chewed her lip. "She's not my...."
Zac laughed some at Zoe's inability to say words, "I know whose baby she really is," he finally said looking at her seriously. "I still follow your sister on instagram," he said knowing he had never found the heart to unfollow Avery even if he had to see pictures of her life now. He knew she had gotten back with Taylor and he knew she must have obviously gotten pregnant not long after. "I have seen pictures of this little cutie all over my feed," he said before looking at the baby again.
"Oh," Zoe muttered as she blushed at Zac's words. "So you know she is Avery's?" she asked afraid that he also had figured out she was his baby as well.
Nodding Zac looked up at Zoe again, "Do you think I could hold her?" he asked.
At Zac's question Zoe chewed her lip, "I guess you can," she said almost wishing Avery where here instead of in the bathroom. "I mean I'm not sure when Avery will be back though."
"What does Avery have to do with me holding her daughter?" Zac asked as he picked up the baby and kissed her cheek. "And where is your sister? I kind of want to see her," he said honestly. He knew he had hurt her when he left but that didn't mean he didn't miss her and he did regret how he had ended things. He regretted that he had been such a douche.
Zoe chewed her lip again at Zac's words feeling uncomfortable not just because of them but because she was filming him with Stella. She was filming him with his baby for a video that Taylor was supposed to see especially if Stella said dada.
"She's in the bathroom," Zoe answered finally as she again faked a smile. "But I don't know if she'll want to see you. I mean you did kind of hurt her and were an asshole," she said before cussing. "Sorry Stella," she said as she looked at the baby in Zac's arms. "Forget you heard me say that word."
Laughing at Zoe after she has cussed Zac looked at the baby in his arms after hearing her name, "Your name is Stella huh?" he asked her and he grinned when she looked at him and held her hand out to his lips. Kissing it softly he reached up and moved it off his lips though he did keep a hold of it after that. "Stella is a cute name but I think you look more like a Stelly," he grinned again when the baby giggled. "Does Stelly sound good to you?"
After he had spoke the last words Zac heard the baby in his arms giggle before proclaiming loudly two words that made his heart stop beating. She had said dada.
Zoe who sat there helplessly as Zac talked to Stella just froze when she heard her niece say the words dada and she wasn't even sure how she had kept a hold of the camera in that moment. Stella had called Zac dada and now it was on video. Avery was so going to flip when she saw this.
"I'm not your dada sweetie," Zac eventually spoke when he found the words. Just being called dada by her had made him hurt mainly because he knew he'd never get a chance to hear another child call him that. He'd never have one of his own to say those words to him. "I could have been but I'm not," he said knowing there was no way she was his. He may have hurt Avery but he didn't think Avery would intentionally keep this big of a truth from him. He didn't think she'd keep his own child from him.
Shaking his head he put Stella back in the high chair, "I'm going to go use the bathroom as well but if Avery comes back tell her she should stick around," he said not caring if she was still here when Brenda showed up.
As Zac walked off all Zoe could do was nod and sit there in silence. She was still taking in what happened.
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Leaving the bathroom Avery sighed as she eventually walked towards Zoe and Stella, "Sorry it took forever," she apologized before reaching for the baby carrier that was laying in an empty seat beside where she had been sitting. "There was a huge line and it took forever."
"I..it's okay," Zoe stuttered as she looked at her sister.
Avery raised an eyebrow as she got the baby carrier adjusted on her before picking up Stella and putting her in, "Are you sure?" she asked as she looked her sister over. "You seem off right now," she said as she shook her head.
Zoe just swallowed hard, "I'm fine," she said as she stood up and headed outside quickly before Avery could ask anymore questions. Hopefully her sister followed behind or she'd be coming face to face with the reason why Zoe was so off as Avery had said.
Keeping her eyebrow raised Avery followed after her sister, "Are you sure you are okay?" she asked as she eventually started walking back to the hotel. "Did Stella say dada while I was gone?" she laughed slightly. "Is that why you are acting all weird?"
At Avery's question Zoe who had been following her finally hit stop on the camera she had realized she was still holding, "I...no...I mean..well...no.." she said again finding herself at a loss for actual real sentences or words. How could she lie to Avery when the truth was on the camera?
"She did didn't she?" Avery asked as she smiled and reached out for the camera. Seeing that Zoe had stopped recording she shook her head and kept walking. It was only when they reached their hotel lobby did she hand the camera to Zoe, "Find where she said dada for me and let me see," she smiled more. "I want to see my baby saying dada so I can cry before Taylor has the chance to rub it in my face that she said dada first."
"Trust me I don't think Tay is going to want to see this," Zoe said as she took the camera again and turned it back on. Finding where the video was she set it to where Stella had said dada, "Here," she said her tone going bitter. "But don't hate me for what happened."
Avery felt confused at Zoe's words as she took the camera. Hitting play where Zoe had stopped it she felt frozen in place as she watched the video. Seeing Zac holding Stella as those words came out of her mouth. Not even asking what Zac was doing there Avery took the video back to when she remembered leaving and she let the video play all the way through Zac showing up and again to Stella calling him daddy.
It was something that Avery found herself doing over and over and she knew she probably had to look weird just standing here but she didn't really care. She was frozen to the spot she stood in as she kept watching her daughter call Zac dada. She had fucking called Zac dada even without knowing that he was her daddy.
Shaking her head she eventually felt tears go down her cheek and it was then that she hit stop and handed the camera back to Zoe. She hadn't realized she was close to tears but she was and she knew why. It was because she felt guilty for keeping the truth from Zac. She again found herself feeling guilty for her lies and she wanted now more than ever to go find him and tell him the truth.
Avery could confess everything and maybe he'd come back. Maybe he'd want her and Stella and he'd say goodbye to Brenda. It was that thought that made her feel pathetic though. That even after how much Zac hurt her she still loved him enough to consider him coming back. She had Taylor and he was good to her...wasn't that ever going to be enough?
"I'll be back," Avery told Zoe as she turned to leave hoping that Zac was still at that restaurant.
"Where are you going?" Zoe asked looking at her sister confused.
Avery turned back to Zoe briefly, "I'm going to find Zac," she told her as she smiled sadly. "Don't fucking delete that video either," she said knowing she wanted to keep that even if it meant lying to Taylor.
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Zac who had gotten a text from Brenda not too long ago telling him she was sorry for running late and that she'd be there once she picked up their friends sighed as he sat down at the table facing the outside. He was kind of regretting being first now because that meant he was bored and the smell of food was making his stomach growl even if he refused to eat until his friends and girlfriend showed up.
Pulling up his camera on his phone he began to people watch and snap pics as he did so. It was on the third pic that he paused when he saw a woman in the picture. She was staring into the restaurant and their on her chest was a baby in a baby carrier. As he looked at the picture harder though he soon realized that the woman was Avery and the baby was who he now knew as Stella. The adorable little girl who had called him dada accidentally.
Looking away from the picture he looked up at the window and froze when he saw Avery still standing outside the restaurant. She was looking at him and he could tell she was debating on coming in or not. The confusion was clear on her face.
Avery who stood outside the restaurant for what felt like forever swallowed hard when Zac finally looked at her and then it was as if time was frozen. It had been so long since he had looked at her and she hadn't realized how much she had missed him. She was pathetic but she figured she'd always be this way every time she saw Zac. He was the one who still had every part of her even if she swore she hated him.
When he eventually stood up and headed to the doors it was when Avery came back to reality and she turned on heels walking through the crowd of people quickly. She may have wanted to talk to him, she may have still loved him but she didn't want to tell him the truth now. She couldn't and she was running. She was avoiding him and the possible situation that could arise.
Zac who made it outside shook his head as he saw Avery walking off and he began to follow after her pushing past people as he did so, "Avie!" he yelled knowing she was close enough to hear though she didn't stop. She kept on walking. "Damn it Avery just please stop!" he yelled again not caring that he sounded desperate or even if people he was pushing past thought he was crazy. Avery was here in California and she was so close that if she'd stop he could touch her.
It was at that thought that Zac realized this was also the first time since coming back to California that he had felt whole. The hole that he thought was missing felt complete just from seeing her and he kind of hated himself more now for ruining things. He hated himself for thinking he could be happy with Brenda or that he somehow had still loved her. If he had truly still loved Brenda then he wouldn't have fell in love with Avery before Brenda had waltzed back in.
Hearing Zac, Avery just kept walking though she did turn her head to look at him briefly. She hated how desperate he sounded and she hated herself for wanting to stop. She was afraid if she did he'd just feed her lies and how could she trust a word out of his mouth? How had she thought she could tell him the truth when she wasn't sure one hundred percent that he would leave Brenda for her and their family that they had? A family he had no clue even existed.
She couldn't tell him for fear of being hurt by him or the fear that if he did come back he'd leave again. She couldn't do that Stella either. She couldn't let their daughter have a father who just walked away without a second thought. So as much as she loved Zac, Avery just looked away and kept walking this time getting faster.
When Avery picked up her pace Zac came to a stop and just stood in the crowd of people as he watched her walk away from him and the moment he was out of sight he felt his heartbreak. He had lost her again or maybe he never really had her this time to begin with. She had after all moved on and maybe she loved her husband again. He could make her happy and at least he wouldn't just leave her.
Turning around Zac headed back down the street to the restaurant. He'd go back in there and act as if nothing happened. He'd go back to pretending that Brenda made him happy and that he loved her. He'd do it because the person he loved either didn't want him or just wanted him to hurt as much as he had hurt her.
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Later that night as Taylor and Stella both slept Avery had snuck into the bathroom with her laptop. Playing the video of Zac with Stella over and over she was again in tears and she knew she should just delete this video but she couldn't. She couldn't delete it and so instead she was keeping it even if it meant Taylor could likely find it and find out she had lied about Stella not saying dada today.
Clicking out of the video Avery pulled up her iTunes and clicked on a song, finding herself getting lost in the song. It was some old nineties country song that she loved and she broke down even more as she thought about Zac. Especially the part about just asking her if she ever still thought about the man...for her it wasn't just every once in awhile. She thought of Zac all the time because of Stella and she hated herself for that. She hated that she loved him still and yet at the same time she hated him too. She hated him for leaving and she hated him for making it hard for her to trust him. She hated him for the fact that she could never fully love Taylor and she hated him for making her a liar, worse than she had been before him.
She both hated and loved Zac at the same time and she was sure at this rate things would fall apart somehow, she just wasn't sure how.
Avery held the camera as she sat at the restaurant in California, pointing it towards Stella who was now almost seven months old. In a few more days she'd be seven months old and Avery swore she was growing like a weed each and every day. She and Taylor along with Stella and Zoe who had tagged along to watch Stella had been in California now for three days.
Taylor had came here for some conference on photography and during the days when he was in meetings she got to sight see and she would. She'd take Zoe and Stella out on all sorts of adventures and today was one of those sort of. They were really just a few buildings down from their hotel having lunch.
"You know I don't know why you constantly have to be filming her today," Zoe said as she looked over at her sister who had the camera held to her niece who sat contently in a high chair as she just babbled up a storm. Not all of her words made sense right now but sometimes she swore she heard some words that did make sense.
Avery turned to look at Zoe, "Because Stelly has been talking up a storm today and Taylor thinks that she may say dada. She was actually very close this morning before he had to leave but she never got the word out," she shrugged. "I think he is just let down her first word was tata and if her second word is dada he'll get an ego boost and get to throw it in my face."
"Tata?" Zoe asked raising her eyebrow curiously.
Nodding Avery looked down at her breasts, "Tata for boobs," she laughed as she blushed some. "Whenever I breast fed her Taylor would refer to them as my tata's and I guess she heard it too much and one day before I fed her she said that word. Then she started saying it every time she was hungry."
Zoe laughed as she looked away from her sister, "When was this?"
"Three weeks ago," Avery answered as she shot Zoe a glare when Zoe laughed. "She still does it too but not as much," she said feeling relieved. "Jonah found it amusing but then again he is six almost seven and will find anything amusing that really shouldn't be."
"And he is too much like his dad and is just annoying," Zoe teased as she shook her head when she was finally able to look at her sister. "Do you like your mommy's tatas Stelly?" she asked her niece as she bent down towards the high chair.
Rolling her eyes as Zoe talked to Stella, Avery sighed when she heard Stella say tata's and she turned the camera towards herself, "Reminder to delete that part later," she said before putting the camera back on Stella. "Stelly can you say dada?" she asked seeing her daughter turn to look at her confused.
"Yeah I don't think dada is coming anytime soon," Zoe said as she looked at Avery. "Not to break Taylor's poor fragile heart when he sees this video though," she teased knowing she liked to give Taylor a hard time. It could be fun.
Avery shrugged, "Don't be rude," she said as she handed the camera towards Zoe. "Can you film though? I have to go to the bathroom and I think after that we can go. I need to head back to the hotel and shower because I think Taylor wants to go out tonight when he gets back."
Nodding Zoe took the camera from Avery and then watched her sister walk off, "Hey there pretty girl," she said as she turned the camera on Stella. "Are you going to say dada for me? I am your favorite aunt so say dada for me. Pwease," she spoke before sticking her lip out and pouting.
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Zac who held his iPod in one hand and his ear buds in another hummed to a song as he walked down the semi crowded Los Angeles street heading to the restaurant where he was supposed to be meeting Brenda and a few friends for lunch. He knew he was early but the class he had been teaching at the college had gotten out early and for once he actually wanted to prove Brenda wrong and prove he could show up on time.
Going into the restaurant when he arrived he looked around though before he could spot an empty table he spotted a blast from his not too distant past and felt his cheeks get warm. Taking the iPod headphones out Zac stuck the iPod in his jeans before walking over to the table.
"Zoe?" he asked coming to a stop in front of her and a baby in a high chair. A baby who just looked up at him and smiled once she heard his voice and her smile melted his heart though then again kids seemed to have that affect on him. He had always loved being around his friends kids and he had hoped one day Brenda would change her mind about the no baby thing but she said she despised kids and didn't want little brats running around.
Zoe who had been filming Stella looked up at Zac and she plastered on a fake smile, "Zac," she said as she felt nervous for him to be around Stella right now. She wasn't stupid and she knew neither was anyone else in their family. Everyone knew Stella was his, heck she even had Zac's brown eyes right down to the shape.
Smiling when Zoe acknowledged him he bent down to the baby in the high chair, "I didn't know you had a baby," he smirked before pinching the baby's cheek. "Aren't you just an adorable little thing?" he asked when the baby turned to look at him with her huge brown eyes. Her eyes were enough to freeze him slightly because they looked familiar though he couldn't place them.
"She's not.." Zoe started but stopped trying to think of a words to say to him to tell him whose baby that was. "I mean she's.." she sighed as she chewed her lip. "She's not my...."
Zac laughed some at Zoe's inability to say words, "I know whose baby she really is," he finally said looking at her seriously. "I still follow your sister on instagram," he said knowing he had never found the heart to unfollow Avery even if he had to see pictures of her life now. He knew she had gotten back with Taylor and he knew she must have obviously gotten pregnant not long after. "I have seen pictures of this little cutie all over my feed," he said before looking at the baby again.
"Oh," Zoe muttered as she blushed at Zac's words. "So you know she is Avery's?" she asked afraid that he also had figured out she was his baby as well.
Nodding Zac looked up at Zoe again, "Do you think I could hold her?" he asked.
At Zac's question Zoe chewed her lip, "I guess you can," she said almost wishing Avery where here instead of in the bathroom. "I mean I'm not sure when Avery will be back though."
"What does Avery have to do with me holding her daughter?" Zac asked as he picked up the baby and kissed her cheek. "And where is your sister? I kind of want to see her," he said honestly. He knew he had hurt her when he left but that didn't mean he didn't miss her and he did regret how he had ended things. He regretted that he had been such a douche.
Zoe chewed her lip again at Zac's words feeling uncomfortable not just because of them but because she was filming him with Stella. She was filming him with his baby for a video that Taylor was supposed to see especially if Stella said dada.
"She's in the bathroom," Zoe answered finally as she again faked a smile. "But I don't know if she'll want to see you. I mean you did kind of hurt her and were an asshole," she said before cussing. "Sorry Stella," she said as she looked at the baby in Zac's arms. "Forget you heard me say that word."
Laughing at Zoe after she has cussed Zac looked at the baby in his arms after hearing her name, "Your name is Stella huh?" he asked her and he grinned when she looked at him and held her hand out to his lips. Kissing it softly he reached up and moved it off his lips though he did keep a hold of it after that. "Stella is a cute name but I think you look more like a Stelly," he grinned again when the baby giggled. "Does Stelly sound good to you?"
After he had spoke the last words Zac heard the baby in his arms giggle before proclaiming loudly two words that made his heart stop beating. She had said dada.
Zoe who sat there helplessly as Zac talked to Stella just froze when she heard her niece say the words dada and she wasn't even sure how she had kept a hold of the camera in that moment. Stella had called Zac dada and now it was on video. Avery was so going to flip when she saw this.
"I'm not your dada sweetie," Zac eventually spoke when he found the words. Just being called dada by her had made him hurt mainly because he knew he'd never get a chance to hear another child call him that. He'd never have one of his own to say those words to him. "I could have been but I'm not," he said knowing there was no way she was his. He may have hurt Avery but he didn't think Avery would intentionally keep this big of a truth from him. He didn't think she'd keep his own child from him.
Shaking his head he put Stella back in the high chair, "I'm going to go use the bathroom as well but if Avery comes back tell her she should stick around," he said not caring if she was still here when Brenda showed up.
As Zac walked off all Zoe could do was nod and sit there in silence. She was still taking in what happened.
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Leaving the bathroom Avery sighed as she eventually walked towards Zoe and Stella, "Sorry it took forever," she apologized before reaching for the baby carrier that was laying in an empty seat beside where she had been sitting. "There was a huge line and it took forever."
"I..it's okay," Zoe stuttered as she looked at her sister.
Avery raised an eyebrow as she got the baby carrier adjusted on her before picking up Stella and putting her in, "Are you sure?" she asked as she looked her sister over. "You seem off right now," she said as she shook her head.
Zoe just swallowed hard, "I'm fine," she said as she stood up and headed outside quickly before Avery could ask anymore questions. Hopefully her sister followed behind or she'd be coming face to face with the reason why Zoe was so off as Avery had said.
Keeping her eyebrow raised Avery followed after her sister, "Are you sure you are okay?" she asked as she eventually started walking back to the hotel. "Did Stella say dada while I was gone?" she laughed slightly. "Is that why you are acting all weird?"
At Avery's question Zoe who had been following her finally hit stop on the camera she had realized she was still holding, "I...no...I mean..well...no.." she said again finding herself at a loss for actual real sentences or words. How could she lie to Avery when the truth was on the camera?
"She did didn't she?" Avery asked as she smiled and reached out for the camera. Seeing that Zoe had stopped recording she shook her head and kept walking. It was only when they reached their hotel lobby did she hand the camera to Zoe, "Find where she said dada for me and let me see," she smiled more. "I want to see my baby saying dada so I can cry before Taylor has the chance to rub it in my face that she said dada first."
"Trust me I don't think Tay is going to want to see this," Zoe said as she took the camera again and turned it back on. Finding where the video was she set it to where Stella had said dada, "Here," she said her tone going bitter. "But don't hate me for what happened."
Avery felt confused at Zoe's words as she took the camera. Hitting play where Zoe had stopped it she felt frozen in place as she watched the video. Seeing Zac holding Stella as those words came out of her mouth. Not even asking what Zac was doing there Avery took the video back to when she remembered leaving and she let the video play all the way through Zac showing up and again to Stella calling him daddy.
It was something that Avery found herself doing over and over and she knew she probably had to look weird just standing here but she didn't really care. She was frozen to the spot she stood in as she kept watching her daughter call Zac dada. She had fucking called Zac dada even without knowing that he was her daddy.
Shaking her head she eventually felt tears go down her cheek and it was then that she hit stop and handed the camera back to Zoe. She hadn't realized she was close to tears but she was and she knew why. It was because she felt guilty for keeping the truth from Zac. She again found herself feeling guilty for her lies and she wanted now more than ever to go find him and tell him the truth.
Avery could confess everything and maybe he'd come back. Maybe he'd want her and Stella and he'd say goodbye to Brenda. It was that thought that made her feel pathetic though. That even after how much Zac hurt her she still loved him enough to consider him coming back. She had Taylor and he was good to her...wasn't that ever going to be enough?
"I'll be back," Avery told Zoe as she turned to leave hoping that Zac was still at that restaurant.
"Where are you going?" Zoe asked looking at her sister confused.
Avery turned back to Zoe briefly, "I'm going to find Zac," she told her as she smiled sadly. "Don't fucking delete that video either," she said knowing she wanted to keep that even if it meant lying to Taylor.
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Zac who had gotten a text from Brenda not too long ago telling him she was sorry for running late and that she'd be there once she picked up their friends sighed as he sat down at the table facing the outside. He was kind of regretting being first now because that meant he was bored and the smell of food was making his stomach growl even if he refused to eat until his friends and girlfriend showed up.
Pulling up his camera on his phone he began to people watch and snap pics as he did so. It was on the third pic that he paused when he saw a woman in the picture. She was staring into the restaurant and their on her chest was a baby in a baby carrier. As he looked at the picture harder though he soon realized that the woman was Avery and the baby was who he now knew as Stella. The adorable little girl who had called him dada accidentally.
Looking away from the picture he looked up at the window and froze when he saw Avery still standing outside the restaurant. She was looking at him and he could tell she was debating on coming in or not. The confusion was clear on her face.
Avery who stood outside the restaurant for what felt like forever swallowed hard when Zac finally looked at her and then it was as if time was frozen. It had been so long since he had looked at her and she hadn't realized how much she had missed him. She was pathetic but she figured she'd always be this way every time she saw Zac. He was the one who still had every part of her even if she swore she hated him.
When he eventually stood up and headed to the doors it was when Avery came back to reality and she turned on heels walking through the crowd of people quickly. She may have wanted to talk to him, she may have still loved him but she didn't want to tell him the truth now. She couldn't and she was running. She was avoiding him and the possible situation that could arise.
Zac who made it outside shook his head as he saw Avery walking off and he began to follow after her pushing past people as he did so, "Avie!" he yelled knowing she was close enough to hear though she didn't stop. She kept on walking. "Damn it Avery just please stop!" he yelled again not caring that he sounded desperate or even if people he was pushing past thought he was crazy. Avery was here in California and she was so close that if she'd stop he could touch her.
It was at that thought that Zac realized this was also the first time since coming back to California that he had felt whole. The hole that he thought was missing felt complete just from seeing her and he kind of hated himself more now for ruining things. He hated himself for thinking he could be happy with Brenda or that he somehow had still loved her. If he had truly still loved Brenda then he wouldn't have fell in love with Avery before Brenda had waltzed back in.
Hearing Zac, Avery just kept walking though she did turn her head to look at him briefly. She hated how desperate he sounded and she hated herself for wanting to stop. She was afraid if she did he'd just feed her lies and how could she trust a word out of his mouth? How had she thought she could tell him the truth when she wasn't sure one hundred percent that he would leave Brenda for her and their family that they had? A family he had no clue even existed.
She couldn't tell him for fear of being hurt by him or the fear that if he did come back he'd leave again. She couldn't do that Stella either. She couldn't let their daughter have a father who just walked away without a second thought. So as much as she loved Zac, Avery just looked away and kept walking this time getting faster.
When Avery picked up her pace Zac came to a stop and just stood in the crowd of people as he watched her walk away from him and the moment he was out of sight he felt his heartbreak. He had lost her again or maybe he never really had her this time to begin with. She had after all moved on and maybe she loved her husband again. He could make her happy and at least he wouldn't just leave her.
Turning around Zac headed back down the street to the restaurant. He'd go back in there and act as if nothing happened. He'd go back to pretending that Brenda made him happy and that he loved her. He'd do it because the person he loved either didn't want him or just wanted him to hurt as much as he had hurt her.
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Later that night as Taylor and Stella both slept Avery had snuck into the bathroom with her laptop. Playing the video of Zac with Stella over and over she was again in tears and she knew she should just delete this video but she couldn't. She couldn't delete it and so instead she was keeping it even if it meant Taylor could likely find it and find out she had lied about Stella not saying dada today.
Clicking out of the video Avery pulled up her iTunes and clicked on a song, finding herself getting lost in the song. It was some old nineties country song that she loved and she broke down even more as she thought about Zac. Especially the part about just asking her if she ever still thought about the man...for her it wasn't just every once in awhile. She thought of Zac all the time because of Stella and she hated herself for that. She hated that she loved him still and yet at the same time she hated him too. She hated him for leaving and she hated him for making it hard for her to trust him. She hated him for the fact that she could never fully love Taylor and she hated him for making her a liar, worse than she had been before him.
She both hated and loved Zac at the same time and she was sure at this rate things would fall apart somehow, she just wasn't sure how.
