Can't Win For Losing Chapter Fifteen
Taylor pulled into the space at the apartment complex just thirty minutes from his house. He was dropping his boys off for a few weeks with their mom. They had spent three weeks with him and now he knew it was time they came back to Avery. They missed her and he was sure she missed them even if she didn't miss him he could at least be sure of her missing the boys.
Getting out of the truck he went to the back door behind his seat and got Charlie out first before going around to the other side and getting Jonah out. Once he held both boys headed towards the building walking up the flights of stairs in the building Avery had said she lived in.
As he came to a stop at her room he put Jonah down so he could knock though he still held Charlie too him. He was half dreading when she opened the door. When she ushered the boys inside because he'd be alone. He hadn't really been alone much during their divorce so far except for what had been left of Saturday after he had left the hospital. Other than that he had, had his boys at home and they had kept him from really dealing with reality much even though at times it would sometimes hit him. Usually at night.
"Daddy?" Charlie questioned as he raised his head up from his daddy's shoulder. "You knock?"
At Charlie's question Taylor just blushed as he realized he hadn't knocked. He had just been standing outside in front of the door getting lost in his thoughts. "I am going to knock now Charlie buddy," he nodded as he raised his hand and knocked three times before putting his hand down and waiting for Avery to answer.
He didn't have to wait long though because no sooner had he put his hand down did the door open and for the first time since their meeting for that transition thing he was face to face with his soon to be ex-wife.
"You are early," Avery spoke as she opened her door to reveal Taylor and both of her sons. "I mean I was expecting you guys in twenty more minutes," she said before bending down to where Jonah stood at the door. "I missed you little man," she whispered before pulling him close to her as she looked up where Taylor stood holding Charlie. "And I missed you too Charlie buddy."
Charlie grinned down at his mom and tried to wiggle free of his daddy's grasp, "Mommy," he whined before just reaching down for her when his wiggling free had proved unsuccessful.
Taylor heard Charlie whine for Avery after he had tried to get free from his arms. Smiling sadly he put Charlie down and watched as his youngest child went to Avery and soon she was hugging both boys. It was a nice sight to see but it hurt him to know that she hadn't missed him also. It hurt him to not hear her add him in to the list of people she had missed.
But in the end he hadn't expected her to miss him. He knew she had Zac now. She had a man who he didn't even know anything about and that kept her from missing him.
Pulling away from the hug with both her sons Avery stayed on their level, "Are you boys excited to see mommy's new house?" she asked them as she smiled. "You both got new beds here," she said knowing the beds had been courtesy of her parents. She had tried to persuade her dad not to buy them but he had anyway and now a bunk bed had been assembled in her second bedroom. A bunk bed that she was sure the boys would love.
"And I have some of your toys from home too," she told them as she looked at Taylor after saying that. He had brought the toys to Zoe a few days ago and said she could use them for the boys room at her apartment. It was then that she had some hope that maybe he'd let go of his wanting physical custody. It was then she hoped what they had been told had gotten through to him. That he couldn't just rip their kids away from what they were used too and that was her and had been her thanks to his busy schedule in life.
Jonah nodded and ran inside before even waiting on his mommy.
"I should probably go after him before he runs to the wrong room," Avery laughed as she stood up after picking Charlie up. "You can come in too," she told Taylor. "I mean I guess it's only fair you see were your sons will be living when they are with me. You can tell me if you like the place or not."
Taylor was surprised when Avery said he could come in too. He had thought for sure she'd make him leave but he figured she had a point. It was only fair he saw where his boys lived and maybe he'd feel better about leaving them with her once he knew this place passed his standards.
Going inside he shut the door behind him, "Would it matter if I don't like the place?" Taylor asked not meaning to sound harsh but he had. "I don't see you deciding to move out if I don't."
"Well it might kill my ego if you don't like it," Avery said brushing off the sting of his harshness as she finally found Jonah and grabbed his hand before he could walk into the bathroom. Leading him down the hallway she stopped when she reached the room that had been set up for the boys and she opened the door before putting Charlie down.
Taylor watched as Avery opened the door to the boys room and he had to smile seeing that the boys now had a bunk bed something Jonah had been wanting for Christmas. He guessed for his eldest son that Christmas now came early today. "You guys have bunk beds," he said as he looked down at them seeing Jonah look up at him with a huge grin on his face. "How neat is that huh? I guess Santa decided to visit you boys early for this one."
Jonah laughed at his daddy's words, "Does Santa make early visits?" he asked before grabbing Charlie's hand and walking to the toy box he had spotted next to the beds.
"Of course he does," Taylor nodded at his son's question. "Very rare but he does," he said as he crossed his arms watching both of his sons as they started taking toys out of the box that had been set up.
As the boys began to play with their toys Avery looked up at Taylor, "Come on, I'll show you the rest of the apartment," she said before backing out of the room and when he did the same she gave him a quick tour before coming to a stop in her living room. It was when she stopped that she became nervous for his thoughts on her place. She knew it was nothing fancy but it was enough for her and the boys.
When they came to a stop in her living room after her tour of the place Taylor sighed as he looked at Avery, "The place is nice enough I guess. Bathroom could be bigger but then again so could the one at home," he started before catching himself. "I mean the one at my house," he nodded.
"I know what you meant," Avery said as she smiled hearing him say it was nice enough. It was close enough to him approving the place and it made her happy. "I'm glad to know it meets your approval and there is one more thing I want your approval on," she said as she chewed her lip.
At Avery's last words Taylor braced himself especially when he saw her chewing her lip, "What else do you need my approval on?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.
Continuing to chew her lip Avery had to think of the best way to say this and a part of saying this made her nervous. It made her nervous how he would react or what would be said. "Z...Zac wants to meet the boys," she finally told him as she looked down. "I told him I'd ask you first. That I'd feel better if I had your opinion but I think it would be best if he did," she said knowing that she had gotten used to seeing Zac almost every other day even after art classes he made a habit to spend a few hours with her and he had been a big part of how she had moved into this apartment in under four days.
Taylor ran a hand through his hair at what she had needed his approval on. He hadn't wanted to even think about this man meeting their kids. He hadn't wanted to think it could ever get this serious between him and Avery but of course like everything else he was wrong.
"He's your boyfriend," Taylor finally spoke as he nodded. "I guess it's fair that the boys get to meet the man you are dating."
Avery shook her head at Taylor's words, "He isn't..I mean I'm not...we aren't dating," she finally said as she looked at Taylor. "We never really put a lable on what we are. It's just something," she defended as she made a face. "But he isn't my boyfriend and we aren't dating. I don't even love him," she spoke not sure why she felt guilt when she said she didn't love him. Her words were true.
"So you are having sex with someone you don't even love?" Taylor asked feeling like the woman standing in front of him was not the same woman he had married five years ago. That woman wouldn't have done something with someone unless she felt something for them. Heck she had always said she had knew deep down she loved him the moment she saw him.
Avery blushed and again she shook her head, "We aren't having sex. We've just only ever done the same stuff I said we did at the hospital," she said referring to him getting her off with his hands.
Smiling slightly at this information Taylor chewed on his lip. He knew he should leave now. He had seen her house and they had made small talk. There was nothing else left for him to do here because this wasn't his house and soon she wouldn't even be his wife anymore.
"I umm..I should go," Taylor nodded as he walked towards her door. "Tell the boys I love them when you tell them goodnight. I'd go in there now and say it but I'm afraid I wouldn't get out the door," he laughed trying to play off his sadness at having to leave his sons.
Avery frowned but walked with Taylor to the door, "I'll tell them," she nodded as she stopped in front of her door. "Take care of yourself and I'll see you when I drop the boys off at the house for you in a week or two."
Nodding Taylor just paused as he looked at Avery who stood in front of him. Again he had the urge like he did in the hospital just to shake her. To yell or break things because in this moment he was angry at the situation they were in and he wanted to tell her to just drop this guy and come back home to him. They could call this divorce off. She hadn't had sex with this Zac yet and he could probably forgive her for the things she had done.
Before he could stop himself Taylor leaned in closing the gap between them as he kissed Avery. He kissed her with everything he had in him and he was pleasantly surprised to feel her kissing him back. That action was enough for him to back her against the wall in her doorway as his arms went around her waist. He hadn't kissed her since the day at his studio and god had it felt like too long.
Avery who had been frozen as she watched Taylor lean in knew she was probably wrong in allowing him to kiss her. She was probably even more wrong when she kissed him back but all sense of wrong left her the moment her back hit the wall and she moaned out into his mouth as she kissed him harder.
The kisses weren't the same as they were with Zac. Zac was much more rough and his lips more chapped and they also lacked the thing she craved. The thing she couldn't put a name too but that only Zac seemed to stir inside of her. Yet she still wanted these kisses all the same right now. She just knew she couldn't allow this to go past kissing. She couldn't give Taylor false hope that this meant she was one hundred percent sure she wanted to come home or that she was going to ditch Zac.
A knock on the door though made her pull away from Taylor and she saw his face as they pulled away. He was disappointed their kissing had came to a screeching halt.
"Ignore the door," Taylor spoke as he looked at Avery. "Just ignore it and maybe the person will go away."
Avery shook her head, "It could be my parents or one of my sisters," she said knowing she couldn't ignore it. "I can't just ignore it if it's them," she told him as another much louder knock came on her door.
Taylor just rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. Instead he watched as she opened her door and he felt his stomach drop to his chest as he saw the person on the other side. The person who had interrupted their kiss. It was a man who had his hair thrown up in some messy bun like up do and he had flowers in his hand. Not roses but sunflowers Avery's favorite kind of flowers.
How in the hell could he ever hope that Avery would leave this man? This man who was standing on her doorstep now looking like a deer caught in headlights as he took in both Avery and him. It was apparent he hadn't expected Taylor to be here.
"Shit," Zac finally spoke as he looked at the man standing beside Avery. "Tonight's the night you get the kids," he said as he remembered her saying now that she was getting them tonight. "I kind of totally forgot," he laughed trying to play off the awkwardness he felt to be staring at Avery's husband well soon to be ex. "How awkward is this?" he asked as he offered the man a smile. It was the least he could do right? Be nice to the man whose wife he wanted to wife up himself one day.
Taylor pulled into the space at the apartment complex just thirty minutes from his house. He was dropping his boys off for a few weeks with their mom. They had spent three weeks with him and now he knew it was time they came back to Avery. They missed her and he was sure she missed them even if she didn't miss him he could at least be sure of her missing the boys.
Getting out of the truck he went to the back door behind his seat and got Charlie out first before going around to the other side and getting Jonah out. Once he held both boys headed towards the building walking up the flights of stairs in the building Avery had said she lived in.
As he came to a stop at her room he put Jonah down so he could knock though he still held Charlie too him. He was half dreading when she opened the door. When she ushered the boys inside because he'd be alone. He hadn't really been alone much during their divorce so far except for what had been left of Saturday after he had left the hospital. Other than that he had, had his boys at home and they had kept him from really dealing with reality much even though at times it would sometimes hit him. Usually at night.
"Daddy?" Charlie questioned as he raised his head up from his daddy's shoulder. "You knock?"
At Charlie's question Taylor just blushed as he realized he hadn't knocked. He had just been standing outside in front of the door getting lost in his thoughts. "I am going to knock now Charlie buddy," he nodded as he raised his hand and knocked three times before putting his hand down and waiting for Avery to answer.
He didn't have to wait long though because no sooner had he put his hand down did the door open and for the first time since their meeting for that transition thing he was face to face with his soon to be ex-wife.
"You are early," Avery spoke as she opened her door to reveal Taylor and both of her sons. "I mean I was expecting you guys in twenty more minutes," she said before bending down to where Jonah stood at the door. "I missed you little man," she whispered before pulling him close to her as she looked up where Taylor stood holding Charlie. "And I missed you too Charlie buddy."
Charlie grinned down at his mom and tried to wiggle free of his daddy's grasp, "Mommy," he whined before just reaching down for her when his wiggling free had proved unsuccessful.
Taylor heard Charlie whine for Avery after he had tried to get free from his arms. Smiling sadly he put Charlie down and watched as his youngest child went to Avery and soon she was hugging both boys. It was a nice sight to see but it hurt him to know that she hadn't missed him also. It hurt him to not hear her add him in to the list of people she had missed.
But in the end he hadn't expected her to miss him. He knew she had Zac now. She had a man who he didn't even know anything about and that kept her from missing him.
Pulling away from the hug with both her sons Avery stayed on their level, "Are you boys excited to see mommy's new house?" she asked them as she smiled. "You both got new beds here," she said knowing the beds had been courtesy of her parents. She had tried to persuade her dad not to buy them but he had anyway and now a bunk bed had been assembled in her second bedroom. A bunk bed that she was sure the boys would love.
"And I have some of your toys from home too," she told them as she looked at Taylor after saying that. He had brought the toys to Zoe a few days ago and said she could use them for the boys room at her apartment. It was then that she had some hope that maybe he'd let go of his wanting physical custody. It was then she hoped what they had been told had gotten through to him. That he couldn't just rip their kids away from what they were used too and that was her and had been her thanks to his busy schedule in life.
Jonah nodded and ran inside before even waiting on his mommy.
"I should probably go after him before he runs to the wrong room," Avery laughed as she stood up after picking Charlie up. "You can come in too," she told Taylor. "I mean I guess it's only fair you see were your sons will be living when they are with me. You can tell me if you like the place or not."
Taylor was surprised when Avery said he could come in too. He had thought for sure she'd make him leave but he figured she had a point. It was only fair he saw where his boys lived and maybe he'd feel better about leaving them with her once he knew this place passed his standards.
Going inside he shut the door behind him, "Would it matter if I don't like the place?" Taylor asked not meaning to sound harsh but he had. "I don't see you deciding to move out if I don't."
"Well it might kill my ego if you don't like it," Avery said brushing off the sting of his harshness as she finally found Jonah and grabbed his hand before he could walk into the bathroom. Leading him down the hallway she stopped when she reached the room that had been set up for the boys and she opened the door before putting Charlie down.
Taylor watched as Avery opened the door to the boys room and he had to smile seeing that the boys now had a bunk bed something Jonah had been wanting for Christmas. He guessed for his eldest son that Christmas now came early today. "You guys have bunk beds," he said as he looked down at them seeing Jonah look up at him with a huge grin on his face. "How neat is that huh? I guess Santa decided to visit you boys early for this one."
Jonah laughed at his daddy's words, "Does Santa make early visits?" he asked before grabbing Charlie's hand and walking to the toy box he had spotted next to the beds.
"Of course he does," Taylor nodded at his son's question. "Very rare but he does," he said as he crossed his arms watching both of his sons as they started taking toys out of the box that had been set up.
As the boys began to play with their toys Avery looked up at Taylor, "Come on, I'll show you the rest of the apartment," she said before backing out of the room and when he did the same she gave him a quick tour before coming to a stop in her living room. It was when she stopped that she became nervous for his thoughts on her place. She knew it was nothing fancy but it was enough for her and the boys.
When they came to a stop in her living room after her tour of the place Taylor sighed as he looked at Avery, "The place is nice enough I guess. Bathroom could be bigger but then again so could the one at home," he started before catching himself. "I mean the one at my house," he nodded.
"I know what you meant," Avery said as she smiled hearing him say it was nice enough. It was close enough to him approving the place and it made her happy. "I'm glad to know it meets your approval and there is one more thing I want your approval on," she said as she chewed her lip.
At Avery's last words Taylor braced himself especially when he saw her chewing her lip, "What else do you need my approval on?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.
Continuing to chew her lip Avery had to think of the best way to say this and a part of saying this made her nervous. It made her nervous how he would react or what would be said. "Z...Zac wants to meet the boys," she finally told him as she looked down. "I told him I'd ask you first. That I'd feel better if I had your opinion but I think it would be best if he did," she said knowing that she had gotten used to seeing Zac almost every other day even after art classes he made a habit to spend a few hours with her and he had been a big part of how she had moved into this apartment in under four days.
Taylor ran a hand through his hair at what she had needed his approval on. He hadn't wanted to even think about this man meeting their kids. He hadn't wanted to think it could ever get this serious between him and Avery but of course like everything else he was wrong.
"He's your boyfriend," Taylor finally spoke as he nodded. "I guess it's fair that the boys get to meet the man you are dating."
Avery shook her head at Taylor's words, "He isn't..I mean I'm not...we aren't dating," she finally said as she looked at Taylor. "We never really put a lable on what we are. It's just something," she defended as she made a face. "But he isn't my boyfriend and we aren't dating. I don't even love him," she spoke not sure why she felt guilt when she said she didn't love him. Her words were true.
"So you are having sex with someone you don't even love?" Taylor asked feeling like the woman standing in front of him was not the same woman he had married five years ago. That woman wouldn't have done something with someone unless she felt something for them. Heck she had always said she had knew deep down she loved him the moment she saw him.
Avery blushed and again she shook her head, "We aren't having sex. We've just only ever done the same stuff I said we did at the hospital," she said referring to him getting her off with his hands.
Smiling slightly at this information Taylor chewed on his lip. He knew he should leave now. He had seen her house and they had made small talk. There was nothing else left for him to do here because this wasn't his house and soon she wouldn't even be his wife anymore.
"I umm..I should go," Taylor nodded as he walked towards her door. "Tell the boys I love them when you tell them goodnight. I'd go in there now and say it but I'm afraid I wouldn't get out the door," he laughed trying to play off his sadness at having to leave his sons.
Avery frowned but walked with Taylor to the door, "I'll tell them," she nodded as she stopped in front of her door. "Take care of yourself and I'll see you when I drop the boys off at the house for you in a week or two."
Nodding Taylor just paused as he looked at Avery who stood in front of him. Again he had the urge like he did in the hospital just to shake her. To yell or break things because in this moment he was angry at the situation they were in and he wanted to tell her to just drop this guy and come back home to him. They could call this divorce off. She hadn't had sex with this Zac yet and he could probably forgive her for the things she had done.
Before he could stop himself Taylor leaned in closing the gap between them as he kissed Avery. He kissed her with everything he had in him and he was pleasantly surprised to feel her kissing him back. That action was enough for him to back her against the wall in her doorway as his arms went around her waist. He hadn't kissed her since the day at his studio and god had it felt like too long.
Avery who had been frozen as she watched Taylor lean in knew she was probably wrong in allowing him to kiss her. She was probably even more wrong when she kissed him back but all sense of wrong left her the moment her back hit the wall and she moaned out into his mouth as she kissed him harder.
The kisses weren't the same as they were with Zac. Zac was much more rough and his lips more chapped and they also lacked the thing she craved. The thing she couldn't put a name too but that only Zac seemed to stir inside of her. Yet she still wanted these kisses all the same right now. She just knew she couldn't allow this to go past kissing. She couldn't give Taylor false hope that this meant she was one hundred percent sure she wanted to come home or that she was going to ditch Zac.
A knock on the door though made her pull away from Taylor and she saw his face as they pulled away. He was disappointed their kissing had came to a screeching halt.
"Ignore the door," Taylor spoke as he looked at Avery. "Just ignore it and maybe the person will go away."
Avery shook her head, "It could be my parents or one of my sisters," she said knowing she couldn't ignore it. "I can't just ignore it if it's them," she told him as another much louder knock came on her door.
Taylor just rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. Instead he watched as she opened her door and he felt his stomach drop to his chest as he saw the person on the other side. The person who had interrupted their kiss. It was a man who had his hair thrown up in some messy bun like up do and he had flowers in his hand. Not roses but sunflowers Avery's favorite kind of flowers.
How in the hell could he ever hope that Avery would leave this man? This man who was standing on her doorstep now looking like a deer caught in headlights as he took in both Avery and him. It was apparent he hadn't expected Taylor to be here.
"Shit," Zac finally spoke as he looked at the man standing beside Avery. "Tonight's the night you get the kids," he said as he remembered her saying now that she was getting them tonight. "I kind of totally forgot," he laughed trying to play off the awkwardness he felt to be staring at Avery's husband well soon to be ex. "How awkward is this?" he asked as he offered the man a smile. It was the least he could do right? Be nice to the man whose wife he wanted to wife up himself one day.
