Can't Win For Losing Chapter Eleven
"W..who said anyone left me this?" Avery asked as she stuttered over her words slightly. "I mean it's a bruise and you know how much of a klutz I am."
Glaring at Avery as she spoke Taylor shook his head, "Don't lie to me," he said as he raised his voice some and walked closer to her. "You're a klutz sometimes yes but a damn mark on your neck," he spat out as he shook his head again. "I'm not stupid and I know a hickey when I see one."
Avery took a deep breath as she looked away from Taylor, "My art teacher he kind of likes me," she began as she felt herself unable to meet her husband's gaze. "He likes me and I like that he likes me," she said nodding. "I like it so much that I let him kiss me after I went to his house today. I let him kiss me and do other things and I guess I got so lost in the moment that I didn't know he had left a mark on me," she frowned as she finally forced herself to look at Taylor. "I was even going to go out with him tonight if I hadn't got your texts and voice-mails after leaving his house. I had to call him and cancel the plans."
At her confession Taylor almost felt like he had been punched in the gut or slapped in the face. He had just told Natalie she wouldn't have done this and now, now he had found out she had or had started too. "Other things?" he asked finally able to find his voice. "You mean like sex?" he asked scared that she had, had sex with a man who wasn't him though kissing and letting him give her a hickey was just as bad in his book.
"No," Avery shook her head though she couldn't help but wonder if Zac's mom hadn't shown up if it would have went there. Because he may have gotten her off through her panties she had still been turned on and she had still wanted to keep messing around with him. "He sort of rubbed me through my underwear," she confessed as she felt her cheeks get hot. She was scared of Taylor's reaction now. Scared of what was going to happen to her marriage.
Swallowing hard Taylor had to bite his lip to keep his anger in check because right now he really wanted to go off on Avery. He wanted to yell at her, he wanted to throw things, he wanted to shake her and ask her if she had been thinking of him at all before allowing this man her damn teacher to do these things to her but in the end because of her actions he figured he had her answer. She hadn't been thinking of him because if she had it wouldn't have even happened in the first place.
"You weren't thinking of me at all during that were you?" he finally spoke his voice again raising some. He was angry and he couldn't help but show it.
Avery again shook her head as she frowned some. She had never heard Taylor this angry and it scared her. "I wasn't thinking of you," she spoke her voice coming out soft in contrast with his harsh and angry tone. "I know I should have been but things were different with him and I just wanted that different experience. I just wanted him in that moment."
Taylor couldn't help but glare as he backed away from Avery before he did something he regretted, "You wanted him?" he asked feeling his voice crack. He knew even with his anger that he was on the verge of tears. "Do you still want him?"
"I still want the experiences he can give me," Avery confessed as she looked away from Taylor. "I'm just..I want to experience stuff I never got too and he said he could help me with that and I want him too," she said as she shrugged not sure what her words would mean for her marriage. She wasn't sure she wanted it to end but she wasn't sure she was ready to give Zac up. She liked what he made her feel. She liked that he offered to give her stuff that Taylor couldn't.
"So you are willing to throw away our marriage for some experiences?" Taylor asked as his voice cracked again and he felt tears going down his cheeks. "You are willing to throw five years down the fucking drain?"
Sighing Avery finally looked at Taylor again, "I never said I wanted to throw our marriage down the drain but I don't want to give up what Zac offered me," she said as she shook her head. "I've been a wife and a mom since I was eighteen. I never got a chance to just be young and free and I want that."
"Then you're throwing our marriage down the drain," Taylor told her not able to understand how she could do that. "If you don't want to give up what he can offer you then that means you're willing to screw up every vow we made to each other," he said as he shook his head, "and I refuse to stand by and be cheated on and taken for some fool."
Avery nodded as she tried to reach out to comfort him but she watched as he moved away from her grasp, "I'm sorry," she finally spoke as she chewed her lip.
Taylor wiped his eyes before answering her, "So am I," he started as he looked down. "I'm sorry for believing you when you said I wasn't losing you and that you still loved me. I'm sorry for being a fucking idiot these last few days. You never had any intention of coming back home. I think you wanted to stay gone. This gave you that opprotunity for your what ifs and now you get to fucking live some of them," he spat as he kept his gaze away from her. "Well you go off and live your what ifs but I'll be damned if the kids have to see you mess shit up. When I file for divorce Monday I plan on also filing for sole custody."
"Divorce?" Avery asked feeling like her world was falling apart. This wasn't what she wanted but then again in this exact moment she wasn't sure of what she wanted. "You are really going to file for divorce?"
"Why the hell not?" Taylor asked as he locked eyes with her. "It's apparent you don't want to fix things. You just want to make them worse by experiencing things with this teacher of yours named Zac."
Avery just shook her head knowing she had no right to cry right now but that's what she wanted to do. "Then I guess file for divorce," she told him before pushing past him and heading out of the bathroom after she unlocked the door. Making her way out of the waiting room she walked quickly soon going back outside to her car.
Getting in she slammed the door shut and leaned her head against the wheel as she broke down in tears finally. Her marriage was ending and it was her fault. She had hurt Taylor and that wasn't what she had meant to do but then again she should have known letting herself get this far in with Zac as fast as she had would cause problems. Avery had just never expected them to occur so soon.
After sitting in her car crying for awhile Avery finally lifted her head and wiped her eyes. Getting her keys out of her pocket she put them in the ignition and started the car, driving back to her parents house. At least now she could tell her dad there would be no going home. That her marriage was over and come Monday her husband would be filing for divorce.
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The rest of the night had passed by for Avery in a blur. She had came back from the hospital and told her dad what had happened and of course like she had expected he had, had a fit but she let him because for once she felt like she semi deserved him lashing out.
Though he had relented on her staying now that Taylor was going to file for divorce. She could stay until she found a job and a place for herself to live. After that she was to be gone and she was to not set foot in the house if she continued seeing the man who had ruined her marriage. According to her father he remembered Zac's mother and she had been a no good whore who shouldn't have even been sitting in his pews.
Her father's words made Avery sick but she didn't argue with them. Instead she just slipped upstairs where she eventually got her and her kids both ready for bed and now here it was Sunday and she had just left church with both boys.
"I can't believe you want me to take them to your house," Zoe said as she walked to the car she drove. It had been one she had gotten only two months ago and she liked having it until it came time for her to do errands for other people or play go between with Avery and Taylor.
"Yeah well I figured it's best if you go and drop them off," Avery said as she held both of her son's hands and walked towards Zoe's car. "I mean if I drop them off there will probably be an argument between Taylor and I and I really don't want the boys to see us argue. They are already going to wonder soon enough why mommy and daddy are no longer together and then they are gonna wonder why they keep having to go between us every weekend or every other weekend."
Zoe rolled her eyes but opened the back door to her car, "Go get there booster seats from your car," she relented as she looked at her sister. "I guess I will do this for you but only because I don't want them seeing their parents argue."
Smiling Avery dropped her sons hands and left them both with Zoe as she walked a few parking spaces over to her car. Getting the first booster seat she took it to Zoe for her sister to put in before going back and getting the second. Coming back with it she went around to the other side of the car and started to put it in.
After she was done she went to grab Charlie and put him in, buckling him up. As she did so she smiled at him as he gave her a smile. "Are you going to be a good boy for daddy?" she asked him once she had finished buckling him in.
"Yes," Charlie answered as he continued to smile. "But why you not go too?"
"Because I have other things to do Charlie buddy," Avery said as she nodded. "You'll see me again in a few days but right now you get to go see daddy and then you'll also get to see Grandma and Grandpa Hanson a lot this week too."
Jonah made a face hearing he'd see his other grandparents, "But Nana Didi isn't as fun as Grama Reed."
"I know baby," Avery laughed as she looked over at her oldest son. "But your daddy thinks it would be neat if you guys stayed with her while he worked. You don't want to hurt daddy's feelings do you?" she asked him as she turned her face into a serious one?
Sighing Jonah made a face before shaking his head no.
"Then don't complain about seeing your Grandma Hanson," Avery told him as she gave him a smile before moving out of the car. "Both of you boys be good for your daddy," she said before shutting the door.
Zoe shut the door on Jonah's side as well and looked at her sister from across the car, "Funny you asked him about hurting his daddy's feelings," she said as she rolled her eyes.
Blushing at her sister's words Avery sighed, "Are you going to give me a piece of your mind too like dad did last night?"
"No," Zoe said as she shook her head. "But I will say I never expected you to almost cheat on Taylor and then to decide to continue whatever the hell it is Zac wants to make you experience."
"I know," Avery nodded as she walked away from her sister's car. "I never expected it either but it's happening and I don't want to stop things. I'm not sure how things will end up or even what's in store for Zac and I. I just know that right now I like how he makes me feel and I like the idea of him helping me experience new things."
Zoe again rolled her eyes, "You like it enough that you decided to let it ruin your marriage?"
Swallowing hard Avery stopped as she reached her car, "I didn't decide to do that. Taylor decided for me and I don't see the us in fighting him when right now I'm not sure if staying with him is what I want or if not being with him is what I want. The only thing I know I want is to experience new things I haven't got too."
After saying what she did to her sister Avery got in her car and eventually started it up. When she pulled out of the church parking lot though she didn't head home. Instead she headed to Zac's. Zac had texted her this morning telling her to meet him at his house. That he wanted to spend the day with her. She had told him she couldn't that morning because of church but that she could drop by after church.
"W..who said anyone left me this?" Avery asked as she stuttered over her words slightly. "I mean it's a bruise and you know how much of a klutz I am."
Glaring at Avery as she spoke Taylor shook his head, "Don't lie to me," he said as he raised his voice some and walked closer to her. "You're a klutz sometimes yes but a damn mark on your neck," he spat out as he shook his head again. "I'm not stupid and I know a hickey when I see one."
Avery took a deep breath as she looked away from Taylor, "My art teacher he kind of likes me," she began as she felt herself unable to meet her husband's gaze. "He likes me and I like that he likes me," she said nodding. "I like it so much that I let him kiss me after I went to his house today. I let him kiss me and do other things and I guess I got so lost in the moment that I didn't know he had left a mark on me," she frowned as she finally forced herself to look at Taylor. "I was even going to go out with him tonight if I hadn't got your texts and voice-mails after leaving his house. I had to call him and cancel the plans."
At her confession Taylor almost felt like he had been punched in the gut or slapped in the face. He had just told Natalie she wouldn't have done this and now, now he had found out she had or had started too. "Other things?" he asked finally able to find his voice. "You mean like sex?" he asked scared that she had, had sex with a man who wasn't him though kissing and letting him give her a hickey was just as bad in his book.
"No," Avery shook her head though she couldn't help but wonder if Zac's mom hadn't shown up if it would have went there. Because he may have gotten her off through her panties she had still been turned on and she had still wanted to keep messing around with him. "He sort of rubbed me through my underwear," she confessed as she felt her cheeks get hot. She was scared of Taylor's reaction now. Scared of what was going to happen to her marriage.
Swallowing hard Taylor had to bite his lip to keep his anger in check because right now he really wanted to go off on Avery. He wanted to yell at her, he wanted to throw things, he wanted to shake her and ask her if she had been thinking of him at all before allowing this man her damn teacher to do these things to her but in the end because of her actions he figured he had her answer. She hadn't been thinking of him because if she had it wouldn't have even happened in the first place.
"You weren't thinking of me at all during that were you?" he finally spoke his voice again raising some. He was angry and he couldn't help but show it.
Avery again shook her head as she frowned some. She had never heard Taylor this angry and it scared her. "I wasn't thinking of you," she spoke her voice coming out soft in contrast with his harsh and angry tone. "I know I should have been but things were different with him and I just wanted that different experience. I just wanted him in that moment."
Taylor couldn't help but glare as he backed away from Avery before he did something he regretted, "You wanted him?" he asked feeling his voice crack. He knew even with his anger that he was on the verge of tears. "Do you still want him?"
"I still want the experiences he can give me," Avery confessed as she looked away from Taylor. "I'm just..I want to experience stuff I never got too and he said he could help me with that and I want him too," she said as she shrugged not sure what her words would mean for her marriage. She wasn't sure she wanted it to end but she wasn't sure she was ready to give Zac up. She liked what he made her feel. She liked that he offered to give her stuff that Taylor couldn't.
"So you are willing to throw away our marriage for some experiences?" Taylor asked as his voice cracked again and he felt tears going down his cheeks. "You are willing to throw five years down the fucking drain?"
Sighing Avery finally looked at Taylor again, "I never said I wanted to throw our marriage down the drain but I don't want to give up what Zac offered me," she said as she shook her head. "I've been a wife and a mom since I was eighteen. I never got a chance to just be young and free and I want that."
"Then you're throwing our marriage down the drain," Taylor told her not able to understand how she could do that. "If you don't want to give up what he can offer you then that means you're willing to screw up every vow we made to each other," he said as he shook his head, "and I refuse to stand by and be cheated on and taken for some fool."
Avery nodded as she tried to reach out to comfort him but she watched as he moved away from her grasp, "I'm sorry," she finally spoke as she chewed her lip.
Taylor wiped his eyes before answering her, "So am I," he started as he looked down. "I'm sorry for believing you when you said I wasn't losing you and that you still loved me. I'm sorry for being a fucking idiot these last few days. You never had any intention of coming back home. I think you wanted to stay gone. This gave you that opprotunity for your what ifs and now you get to fucking live some of them," he spat as he kept his gaze away from her. "Well you go off and live your what ifs but I'll be damned if the kids have to see you mess shit up. When I file for divorce Monday I plan on also filing for sole custody."
"Divorce?" Avery asked feeling like her world was falling apart. This wasn't what she wanted but then again in this exact moment she wasn't sure of what she wanted. "You are really going to file for divorce?"
"Why the hell not?" Taylor asked as he locked eyes with her. "It's apparent you don't want to fix things. You just want to make them worse by experiencing things with this teacher of yours named Zac."
Avery just shook her head knowing she had no right to cry right now but that's what she wanted to do. "Then I guess file for divorce," she told him before pushing past him and heading out of the bathroom after she unlocked the door. Making her way out of the waiting room she walked quickly soon going back outside to her car.
Getting in she slammed the door shut and leaned her head against the wheel as she broke down in tears finally. Her marriage was ending and it was her fault. She had hurt Taylor and that wasn't what she had meant to do but then again she should have known letting herself get this far in with Zac as fast as she had would cause problems. Avery had just never expected them to occur so soon.
After sitting in her car crying for awhile Avery finally lifted her head and wiped her eyes. Getting her keys out of her pocket she put them in the ignition and started the car, driving back to her parents house. At least now she could tell her dad there would be no going home. That her marriage was over and come Monday her husband would be filing for divorce.
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The rest of the night had passed by for Avery in a blur. She had came back from the hospital and told her dad what had happened and of course like she had expected he had, had a fit but she let him because for once she felt like she semi deserved him lashing out.
Though he had relented on her staying now that Taylor was going to file for divorce. She could stay until she found a job and a place for herself to live. After that she was to be gone and she was to not set foot in the house if she continued seeing the man who had ruined her marriage. According to her father he remembered Zac's mother and she had been a no good whore who shouldn't have even been sitting in his pews.
Her father's words made Avery sick but she didn't argue with them. Instead she just slipped upstairs where she eventually got her and her kids both ready for bed and now here it was Sunday and she had just left church with both boys.
"I can't believe you want me to take them to your house," Zoe said as she walked to the car she drove. It had been one she had gotten only two months ago and she liked having it until it came time for her to do errands for other people or play go between with Avery and Taylor.
"Yeah well I figured it's best if you go and drop them off," Avery said as she held both of her son's hands and walked towards Zoe's car. "I mean if I drop them off there will probably be an argument between Taylor and I and I really don't want the boys to see us argue. They are already going to wonder soon enough why mommy and daddy are no longer together and then they are gonna wonder why they keep having to go between us every weekend or every other weekend."
Zoe rolled her eyes but opened the back door to her car, "Go get there booster seats from your car," she relented as she looked at her sister. "I guess I will do this for you but only because I don't want them seeing their parents argue."
Smiling Avery dropped her sons hands and left them both with Zoe as she walked a few parking spaces over to her car. Getting the first booster seat she took it to Zoe for her sister to put in before going back and getting the second. Coming back with it she went around to the other side of the car and started to put it in.
After she was done she went to grab Charlie and put him in, buckling him up. As she did so she smiled at him as he gave her a smile. "Are you going to be a good boy for daddy?" she asked him once she had finished buckling him in.
"Yes," Charlie answered as he continued to smile. "But why you not go too?"
"Because I have other things to do Charlie buddy," Avery said as she nodded. "You'll see me again in a few days but right now you get to go see daddy and then you'll also get to see Grandma and Grandpa Hanson a lot this week too."
Jonah made a face hearing he'd see his other grandparents, "But Nana Didi isn't as fun as Grama Reed."
"I know baby," Avery laughed as she looked over at her oldest son. "But your daddy thinks it would be neat if you guys stayed with her while he worked. You don't want to hurt daddy's feelings do you?" she asked him as she turned her face into a serious one?
Sighing Jonah made a face before shaking his head no.
"Then don't complain about seeing your Grandma Hanson," Avery told him as she gave him a smile before moving out of the car. "Both of you boys be good for your daddy," she said before shutting the door.
Zoe shut the door on Jonah's side as well and looked at her sister from across the car, "Funny you asked him about hurting his daddy's feelings," she said as she rolled her eyes.
Blushing at her sister's words Avery sighed, "Are you going to give me a piece of your mind too like dad did last night?"
"No," Zoe said as she shook her head. "But I will say I never expected you to almost cheat on Taylor and then to decide to continue whatever the hell it is Zac wants to make you experience."
"I know," Avery nodded as she walked away from her sister's car. "I never expected it either but it's happening and I don't want to stop things. I'm not sure how things will end up or even what's in store for Zac and I. I just know that right now I like how he makes me feel and I like the idea of him helping me experience new things."
Zoe again rolled her eyes, "You like it enough that you decided to let it ruin your marriage?"
Swallowing hard Avery stopped as she reached her car, "I didn't decide to do that. Taylor decided for me and I don't see the us in fighting him when right now I'm not sure if staying with him is what I want or if not being with him is what I want. The only thing I know I want is to experience new things I haven't got too."
After saying what she did to her sister Avery got in her car and eventually started it up. When she pulled out of the church parking lot though she didn't head home. Instead she headed to Zac's. Zac had texted her this morning telling her to meet him at his house. That he wanted to spend the day with her. She had told him she couldn't that morning because of church but that she could drop by after church.