Stained Red Chapter Twenty
Natalie rolled her eyes as she sat on the porch of her house watching her oldest kids play in the front yard though really Theo was teasing Henry on his art chalk drawings. It was July and it had been three months since Isaac left voluntarily. Three months and she had withdrew herself from all things Hanson.
It wasn't that she didn't love the family because she did but it was the fact she didn't want to answer questions on why Isaac had left or even where he had went. She could answer the first but they'd all hate her. They'd hate her when they knew Theodore wasn't Isaac's. They'd never forgive her for those lies all those years ago or being with all three boys. Diana would probably even kill over and have a heart attack as religious as she was now.
Natalie also knew she couldn't tell them about this newest baby either. The baby who was she three almost four months pregnant with. She couldn't tell them that it too was Taylor's though she was kind of surprised Taylor hadn't told them either one of those things though she had only found out through a voice-mail he'd left her the day Isaac left that he knew about the baby and that they needed to talk. Natalie guessed Zac had told him.
As for answering where Isaac was Natalie couldn't do that because she didn't know. She didn't know where her husband had ran off too nor did she know when he was coming back. All she did know was that he called once a week to speak to the children. At least he was still trying to be in their lives during his time away. It was a time away she didn't fault him for really. She too was finding she had needed a break from him as well and a break from his family.
Though a part of her figured the break would end today. She had gotten a call from Diana who had left a voicemail asking her to come to the house or well actually pleading. Diana had been crying and so Natalie knew she'd have to oblige. She'd go to her in-law's house when Audrey awoke from her nap. A nap that had been needed as she had been fussy all morning having been awoken by the phone call Isaac had made for the kids.
"Mommy?" Henry asked bringing Natalie out of her thoughts. "Do you think Gramma and Granpa got me something for my birthday?"
"I am sure they did sweetie," Natalie told him as she smiled. His birthday had been at the first of the month though she had only a small get together with him and a few of his school mates that he had been close to in preschool. She hadn't invited the Hanson's which she knew was probably bad but again she had needed the break and when she had confessed it all to Isaac briefly during one of his weekly calls to the kids he hadn't been upset or mad. He had said it was her choice.
Henry grinned at his moms words, "I hope so," he giggled as he ran to where she sat on the porch. "I wish they had came to my party. I wish daddy had came," he frowned before falling into his mom's lap.
"Daddy doesn't care about us anymore," Theo spoke after hearing his brother mention wishing their dad had been at the party. "If he cared he'd be here," he snapped as he rolled his eyes going to the porch as well and sitting beside his mom. "He wouldn't have left us again."
Natalie frowned listening to her oldest son speak, "It's not your dad's fault he left," she told him as she put one arm on Henry and reached the other out pulling Theodore to her. She should have known Theo was taking Isaac leaving the worst. He was always the one who showed his emotions the easiest and tended to have outbursts. It was a trait she thought he had inherited from Taylor. "He just needed some time away. Sometimes things get complicated and adults need time away."
Theo glared as he shook his head, "But you're having another baby," he spoke as he looked up at his mom.
"I am," Natalie smiled slightly as she nodded. She had told Henry and Theodore about the baby last month though she hadn't told them that Isaac wasn't the daddy. It wasn't their business yet. It was something they could learn when they got older. It was something that wasn't needing to come out just yet to them.
Before Natalie could say more though she heard Audrey crying from the playpen she had in the living room. Standing up she kept her hold on Henry until she was fully up then she placed him on his feet, "You two stay here. When I get back we will head to Gramm and Granpa Hanson's okay," she smiled trying to cheer Theo up and get Henry excited again. Instead she was met with a scowl and a frown.
Plastering a fake smile on her own lips Natalie sighed before heading inside. This was going to be one interesting day that was for sure, especially if Theodore kept his attitude about Isaac being gone.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
An hour later Natalie pulled her mini van into the house her in-laws lived in. Parking the van she got out and went to the back opening it and watching as Henry and Theodore got out but neither ran off. Instead they waited until she had Audrey out and holding her on her hip until they went to the porch.
It was a first for Natalie because usually her kids were bouncing to see their grandparents but today thanks to her oldest son's attitude it seemed like they weren't so eager. She almost wished she could fix things for Theodore but she couldn't. She couldn't bring Isaac back right now nor could she fix the troubles that had caused him to run. Troubles she knew she had created. If only she had been honest in the beginning before ever marrying Isaac but she hadn't been.
Before Natalie could raise her hand to knock though Diana threw the door open a look of happiness written on her face and Natalie couldn't help but smile as she bent down pulling both boys into her for hugs.
"I missed you boys so much," Diana murmured as she held them both tight. "You both grew up on me it seems and one of you even had a birthday," she smiled as she pulled away and stood up to see Audrey on Natalie's hip. She was already so big for a nine month old. It was after she looked at Audrey though that her eyes landed on the small bump forming in Natalie's midsection. The bump wouldn't be recognizable to many but in the tank top Natalie had chosen Diana could see it.
"I had a birthday," Henry spoke as he pushed his way inside. "I turned five," he grinned as he watched his older brother follow in behind him.
Diana followed her grand kids in feeling Natalie following her inside as well. "Is that so? Five year olds," she smiled trying to play dumb. "Well why don't you boys go visit grandpa Hanson in the playroom. He may have something for the both of you," she nodded feeling glad when Henry ran off in a hurry followed by Theo who seemed reluctant.
After the boys were gone Diana took Audrey from Natalie's arms, "You need to sit," she spoke as she too went to sit down. "I mean being pregnant can make your back sore."
Natalie blushed at Diana's comment, "You noticed the bump?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow. She should have known Diana would notice her bump even if it wasn't noticeable to some of course Diana would notice it. She had carried seven babies she knew what to look for.
"Kind of hard for me to miss it," Diana smiled trying to cut the tension that was in the room between her and Natalie. "It's been three months Natalie. We haven't seen you or heard from you in three months around the same time that Isaac ran off to God knows where," she spoke keeping her eyes trained on her daughter-in-law. "Isaac does at least call us but he doesn't tell us why he left or even where he is."
Natalie squirmed in her seat as Diana looked at her, "I'm guessing you can tell why he left," she said as her own eyes went to look down at her stomach. "I'm almost four months pregnant."
Closing her eyes at Natalie's last words Diana pulled Audrey closer to her. She could do the math in her head. Natalie had gotten pregnant when she was separated from Isaac. "Isaac isn't the father," she spoke a frown forming on her lips knowing her son had to be heartbroken knowing that another man had gotten his wife pregnant. That another man had slept with Natalie.
"No, Isaac isn't," Natalie said confirming what she was sure Diana already knew, after all her words hadn't been a question they had been a statement.
"Do you know who the father is?" Diana asked as she opened her eyes feeling as if she could cry. How had she missed that Isaac's marriage had gotten to this point? She had thought that they loved each other. "Do you know the man you cheated on my son with?"
At Diana's words Natalie felt her heartbeat faster, "I do," she confirmed biting her lip. She knew if Diana asked she'd be honest. She had lied about Theodore hell she was still keeping Diana in the dark about that one.
"Who is the man who you slept with?" Diana asked another question wishing she could just rewind this day and start over. So many realizations already having been brought to her like the fact that Natalie could cheat on Isaac. That Natalie wasn't as good as she had always believed her to be.
Taking a deep breath Natalie looked down at her hands and the wedding band she still wore. She had to get this over with, just ripe the band aid off. "Taylor is the father," she confessed watching as her mother-in-law's face went from sadness to anger to a few other emotions as well. "I slept with Taylor," she nodded feeling tears stinging her eyes as she frowned. It was in her sadness that she began to confess everything to Diana then. The fact that she had lied about Isaac for sure being Theodore's father. That Isaac finding out was the reason they had split the first time. She confessed that the other potential fathers for Theodore could have been Taylor or Zac and then she confessed about how she and Isaac had done a test a few months prior because of Nikki and the shit she had done.
It was only after she filled Diana in on everything that she took a breath and looked at the woman who was now judging her. She was judging Natalie and Natalie felt the lowest she had ever felt in her whole life. Worse than when she had to confess to Isaac.
"I have no words for what you have just told me," Diana frowned as she looked at her granddaughter who she held in her arms. "I'm saddened that you lied to Isaac for so long. I'm saddened that you lied to everyone. It makes me hurt knowing that you would be with Taylor again even if you thought you and Isaac were done. I had so much hope for you and Isaac," she sighed as she shook her head. "No I just kind of hope Isaac comes back and realizes what a mistake he made by even going back to you."
Natalie nodded at Diana's words knowing that she had a right to be angry, "I never meant to hurt him," she said honestly. "I knew my actions were wrong when I married him with a lie but I never meant to hurt him so bad. He was never supposed to find out. I just thought what could one little lie hurt and at the time for me it was little. It was okay to make him think he was the father because he could have been."
Letting Natalie speak again Diana wanted to slap her and tell her that no it hadn't been okay but it seemed like now Natalie knew that. Natalie had come to realize it but Diana still hurt for the fact that Natalie could have stopped this huge hurt and prevented everything.
"Why did you choose Isaac?" Diana asked as she locked eyes with her daughter-in-law. "Why not tell Taylor or Zac they were the father since they could have been too?"
Natalie again had to look away from Diana before speaking, "Because he had the least to lose and was the best choice," she said trying to stay calm but it hurt her to say it out loud. It hurt her to confirm that she was a horrible person and not the person she tried desperately to be half the time. "Zac had just gotten back together with Kate and I didn't want to hurt him even back then it hurt me when he took her back not long after breaking up with me and Taylor well you know that he was using drugs. He wouldn't have been the best person to raise a baby with back then. So I chose the one who I knew wouldn't lose anything or be a bad parent."
Taking a deep breath at Natalie's words Diana swallowed a lump in her throat, "But he did lose things Natalie. He lost years of seeing what life could have handed him. He lost the chance to find a woman who fully loved him and to have a family with her. He lost his heart someone selfish and dumb."
"I did love him," Natalie spoke her voice croaked as she reached up to wipe her eyes. "I still love him."
Diana shook her head at Natalie's words. She couldn't help but not believe them. How could she believe that Natalie loved her son when she had lied so much? If you loved someone how could you keep something so huge from them?
Standing up she moved Audrey on her hip, "I want you to leave for awhile Natalie. I'd like some time with my grandchildren without you here."
At Diana's words Natalie stood from the couch and left the house. Going to the van she got in and leaned against the seat. What had happened in there was the prime example why she had never wanted to tell truth to anyone. She hated to be thought of as some monster when she had changed. She had changed and knew she had made mistakes. She knew what she did was wrong just like she knew she didn't deserve Isaac but he had stayed even after finding out about Theodore. He had stayed until her last mistake. Until she slept with Taylor again and got pregnant refusing to get rid of the baby.
Frowning to herself she reached down and took her wedding band and engagement ring off. She didn't deserve to wear them not when she knew she didn't deserve the man who had given them to her. Not when she knew things could possibly never be the same between them. Now that every little truth was out there things could never be the same.
Natalie rolled her eyes as she sat on the porch of her house watching her oldest kids play in the front yard though really Theo was teasing Henry on his art chalk drawings. It was July and it had been three months since Isaac left voluntarily. Three months and she had withdrew herself from all things Hanson.
It wasn't that she didn't love the family because she did but it was the fact she didn't want to answer questions on why Isaac had left or even where he had went. She could answer the first but they'd all hate her. They'd hate her when they knew Theodore wasn't Isaac's. They'd never forgive her for those lies all those years ago or being with all three boys. Diana would probably even kill over and have a heart attack as religious as she was now.
Natalie also knew she couldn't tell them about this newest baby either. The baby who was she three almost four months pregnant with. She couldn't tell them that it too was Taylor's though she was kind of surprised Taylor hadn't told them either one of those things though she had only found out through a voice-mail he'd left her the day Isaac left that he knew about the baby and that they needed to talk. Natalie guessed Zac had told him.
As for answering where Isaac was Natalie couldn't do that because she didn't know. She didn't know where her husband had ran off too nor did she know when he was coming back. All she did know was that he called once a week to speak to the children. At least he was still trying to be in their lives during his time away. It was a time away she didn't fault him for really. She too was finding she had needed a break from him as well and a break from his family.
Though a part of her figured the break would end today. She had gotten a call from Diana who had left a voicemail asking her to come to the house or well actually pleading. Diana had been crying and so Natalie knew she'd have to oblige. She'd go to her in-law's house when Audrey awoke from her nap. A nap that had been needed as she had been fussy all morning having been awoken by the phone call Isaac had made for the kids.
"Mommy?" Henry asked bringing Natalie out of her thoughts. "Do you think Gramma and Granpa got me something for my birthday?"
"I am sure they did sweetie," Natalie told him as she smiled. His birthday had been at the first of the month though she had only a small get together with him and a few of his school mates that he had been close to in preschool. She hadn't invited the Hanson's which she knew was probably bad but again she had needed the break and when she had confessed it all to Isaac briefly during one of his weekly calls to the kids he hadn't been upset or mad. He had said it was her choice.
Henry grinned at his moms words, "I hope so," he giggled as he ran to where she sat on the porch. "I wish they had came to my party. I wish daddy had came," he frowned before falling into his mom's lap.
"Daddy doesn't care about us anymore," Theo spoke after hearing his brother mention wishing their dad had been at the party. "If he cared he'd be here," he snapped as he rolled his eyes going to the porch as well and sitting beside his mom. "He wouldn't have left us again."
Natalie frowned listening to her oldest son speak, "It's not your dad's fault he left," she told him as she put one arm on Henry and reached the other out pulling Theodore to her. She should have known Theo was taking Isaac leaving the worst. He was always the one who showed his emotions the easiest and tended to have outbursts. It was a trait she thought he had inherited from Taylor. "He just needed some time away. Sometimes things get complicated and adults need time away."
Theo glared as he shook his head, "But you're having another baby," he spoke as he looked up at his mom.
"I am," Natalie smiled slightly as she nodded. She had told Henry and Theodore about the baby last month though she hadn't told them that Isaac wasn't the daddy. It wasn't their business yet. It was something they could learn when they got older. It was something that wasn't needing to come out just yet to them.
Before Natalie could say more though she heard Audrey crying from the playpen she had in the living room. Standing up she kept her hold on Henry until she was fully up then she placed him on his feet, "You two stay here. When I get back we will head to Gramm and Granpa Hanson's okay," she smiled trying to cheer Theo up and get Henry excited again. Instead she was met with a scowl and a frown.
Plastering a fake smile on her own lips Natalie sighed before heading inside. This was going to be one interesting day that was for sure, especially if Theodore kept his attitude about Isaac being gone.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
An hour later Natalie pulled her mini van into the house her in-laws lived in. Parking the van she got out and went to the back opening it and watching as Henry and Theodore got out but neither ran off. Instead they waited until she had Audrey out and holding her on her hip until they went to the porch.
It was a first for Natalie because usually her kids were bouncing to see their grandparents but today thanks to her oldest son's attitude it seemed like they weren't so eager. She almost wished she could fix things for Theodore but she couldn't. She couldn't bring Isaac back right now nor could she fix the troubles that had caused him to run. Troubles she knew she had created. If only she had been honest in the beginning before ever marrying Isaac but she hadn't been.
Before Natalie could raise her hand to knock though Diana threw the door open a look of happiness written on her face and Natalie couldn't help but smile as she bent down pulling both boys into her for hugs.
"I missed you boys so much," Diana murmured as she held them both tight. "You both grew up on me it seems and one of you even had a birthday," she smiled as she pulled away and stood up to see Audrey on Natalie's hip. She was already so big for a nine month old. It was after she looked at Audrey though that her eyes landed on the small bump forming in Natalie's midsection. The bump wouldn't be recognizable to many but in the tank top Natalie had chosen Diana could see it.
"I had a birthday," Henry spoke as he pushed his way inside. "I turned five," he grinned as he watched his older brother follow in behind him.
Diana followed her grand kids in feeling Natalie following her inside as well. "Is that so? Five year olds," she smiled trying to play dumb. "Well why don't you boys go visit grandpa Hanson in the playroom. He may have something for the both of you," she nodded feeling glad when Henry ran off in a hurry followed by Theo who seemed reluctant.
After the boys were gone Diana took Audrey from Natalie's arms, "You need to sit," she spoke as she too went to sit down. "I mean being pregnant can make your back sore."
Natalie blushed at Diana's comment, "You noticed the bump?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow. She should have known Diana would notice her bump even if it wasn't noticeable to some of course Diana would notice it. She had carried seven babies she knew what to look for.
"Kind of hard for me to miss it," Diana smiled trying to cut the tension that was in the room between her and Natalie. "It's been three months Natalie. We haven't seen you or heard from you in three months around the same time that Isaac ran off to God knows where," she spoke keeping her eyes trained on her daughter-in-law. "Isaac does at least call us but he doesn't tell us why he left or even where he is."
Natalie squirmed in her seat as Diana looked at her, "I'm guessing you can tell why he left," she said as her own eyes went to look down at her stomach. "I'm almost four months pregnant."
Closing her eyes at Natalie's last words Diana pulled Audrey closer to her. She could do the math in her head. Natalie had gotten pregnant when she was separated from Isaac. "Isaac isn't the father," she spoke a frown forming on her lips knowing her son had to be heartbroken knowing that another man had gotten his wife pregnant. That another man had slept with Natalie.
"No, Isaac isn't," Natalie said confirming what she was sure Diana already knew, after all her words hadn't been a question they had been a statement.
"Do you know who the father is?" Diana asked as she opened her eyes feeling as if she could cry. How had she missed that Isaac's marriage had gotten to this point? She had thought that they loved each other. "Do you know the man you cheated on my son with?"
At Diana's words Natalie felt her heartbeat faster, "I do," she confirmed biting her lip. She knew if Diana asked she'd be honest. She had lied about Theodore hell she was still keeping Diana in the dark about that one.
"Who is the man who you slept with?" Diana asked another question wishing she could just rewind this day and start over. So many realizations already having been brought to her like the fact that Natalie could cheat on Isaac. That Natalie wasn't as good as she had always believed her to be.
Taking a deep breath Natalie looked down at her hands and the wedding band she still wore. She had to get this over with, just ripe the band aid off. "Taylor is the father," she confessed watching as her mother-in-law's face went from sadness to anger to a few other emotions as well. "I slept with Taylor," she nodded feeling tears stinging her eyes as she frowned. It was in her sadness that she began to confess everything to Diana then. The fact that she had lied about Isaac for sure being Theodore's father. That Isaac finding out was the reason they had split the first time. She confessed that the other potential fathers for Theodore could have been Taylor or Zac and then she confessed about how she and Isaac had done a test a few months prior because of Nikki and the shit she had done.
It was only after she filled Diana in on everything that she took a breath and looked at the woman who was now judging her. She was judging Natalie and Natalie felt the lowest she had ever felt in her whole life. Worse than when she had to confess to Isaac.
"I have no words for what you have just told me," Diana frowned as she looked at her granddaughter who she held in her arms. "I'm saddened that you lied to Isaac for so long. I'm saddened that you lied to everyone. It makes me hurt knowing that you would be with Taylor again even if you thought you and Isaac were done. I had so much hope for you and Isaac," she sighed as she shook her head. "No I just kind of hope Isaac comes back and realizes what a mistake he made by even going back to you."
Natalie nodded at Diana's words knowing that she had a right to be angry, "I never meant to hurt him," she said honestly. "I knew my actions were wrong when I married him with a lie but I never meant to hurt him so bad. He was never supposed to find out. I just thought what could one little lie hurt and at the time for me it was little. It was okay to make him think he was the father because he could have been."
Letting Natalie speak again Diana wanted to slap her and tell her that no it hadn't been okay but it seemed like now Natalie knew that. Natalie had come to realize it but Diana still hurt for the fact that Natalie could have stopped this huge hurt and prevented everything.
"Why did you choose Isaac?" Diana asked as she locked eyes with her daughter-in-law. "Why not tell Taylor or Zac they were the father since they could have been too?"
Natalie again had to look away from Diana before speaking, "Because he had the least to lose and was the best choice," she said trying to stay calm but it hurt her to say it out loud. It hurt her to confirm that she was a horrible person and not the person she tried desperately to be half the time. "Zac had just gotten back together with Kate and I didn't want to hurt him even back then it hurt me when he took her back not long after breaking up with me and Taylor well you know that he was using drugs. He wouldn't have been the best person to raise a baby with back then. So I chose the one who I knew wouldn't lose anything or be a bad parent."
Taking a deep breath at Natalie's words Diana swallowed a lump in her throat, "But he did lose things Natalie. He lost years of seeing what life could have handed him. He lost the chance to find a woman who fully loved him and to have a family with her. He lost his heart someone selfish and dumb."
"I did love him," Natalie spoke her voice croaked as she reached up to wipe her eyes. "I still love him."
Diana shook her head at Natalie's words. She couldn't help but not believe them. How could she believe that Natalie loved her son when she had lied so much? If you loved someone how could you keep something so huge from them?
Standing up she moved Audrey on her hip, "I want you to leave for awhile Natalie. I'd like some time with my grandchildren without you here."
At Diana's words Natalie stood from the couch and left the house. Going to the van she got in and leaned against the seat. What had happened in there was the prime example why she had never wanted to tell truth to anyone. She hated to be thought of as some monster when she had changed. She had changed and knew she had made mistakes. She knew what she did was wrong just like she knew she didn't deserve Isaac but he had stayed even after finding out about Theodore. He had stayed until her last mistake. Until she slept with Taylor again and got pregnant refusing to get rid of the baby.
Frowning to herself she reached down and took her wedding band and engagement ring off. She didn't deserve to wear them not when she knew she didn't deserve the man who had given them to her. Not when she knew things could possibly never be the same between them. Now that every little truth was out there things could never be the same.