Tempest In A Teacup Chapter Eleven
After telling Zac about River, things in Jamaica just seem to get worse. He waited until after the show that night to confront Taylor, leaving Taylor with a black eye. He from what I heard through twitter was tense during his own solo show the next night and things remained the same the night after that, even though he and Bethany both went to the DJ thing Taylor did on the last night there.
Now I am just glad to be back home because I can stay away from Zac and keep Zac away from me when he is like he is. It's not even three days after Jamaica though that Zac is brought into my orbit again though it's not really my fault. Apparently it seems some tumblr has leaked news about me being pregnant along with a picture of Zac going down on me. A picture I had sent to myself months back, around the time the affair started.
I know there is only one place the fans could have gotten the shit but I remain silent or try to. It's hard to bite my tongue when I have fans telling me on twitter I am going to break up the band and referring to me as Yoko Ono.
Throwing my phone down on the coffee table I roll my eyes when I hear a knock at the door. I half expect it to be Taylor coming to bitch at me for all the shit that has happened so I try to prolong my walk there and when I open the door to see Bethany staring at me I wish I had prolonged it even more. I would have preferred Taylor over her.
"We need to talk," Bethany speaks first pushing her way inside of my house. "About the train wreck your life has become. I know that things can't be good for you and our baby," she says as I shut the door a little too loudly. "Though it seems like from what Zac has told me we have another child too. River is Zac's and eventually he'll be mine when Zac wins custody," she informs me and even though I am death glaring the back of her head I am sure she is smirking.
Sitting down on the couch I glare more when Bethany sits next to me, "Again they aren't your children and Zac will calm down enough that he won't take me to court."
Bethany makes a face before laughing, "You really think he will? I don't," she shrugs as she shakes her head. "Those leaked pics today just made him worse though he does agree with the fans who are calling you a slut. He says you're a slut who he hopes to see walk off a cliff..his words not mine."
"He really said that?" I ask feeling like I had been slapped hard. "He wants me to walk off a cliff?"
Bethany nods her head yes, "I think it's twisted myself to be honest," she admits which surprises even me. "I mean I get that you lied but I thought he loved you."
"I thought he loved me too," I speak as a lump forms in my throat. Maybe he isn't just angry. Maybe he has fallen out of love with me because of my lie. I have really lost Zac it seems and as I look at the engagement ring on Bethany's finger I feel sick knowing that she has him.
Looking back up and way from her engagement ring I chew my lip, "You know I could have told him about your lie too. The abortion instead of the miscarriage," I confess letting her know I have been informed. "But I didn't because as much as I hate you I couldn't ruin his faith in everyone. He may not admit it but he loves you in his own way," I nod coming to realize that too. "Otherwise he wouldn't have asked you to marry him already. He loves you and it's not my place to ruin that with your secret. That's on you."
"H..how did you know about the abortion?" Bethany asks me for once looking vulnerable and scared. "No one but Leigh knew and she hates you as much as I do."
"Your sister has a big mouth when she sleeps with your ex's," I laugh now feeling like I have at least gained something by this. "Maybe you should talk to her about that."
Bethany just sits there in silence after that her face showing her slow realization of my words. Her sister has betrayed her trust. "And you really chose not to tell Zac because you didn't wanna ruin his faith in everyone? You don't have plans to use this against me later?"
"What do I have to gain from using this against you?" I ask her as I shrug feeling defeated. "I have lost Zac. Telling him about River and then today's leak. I have lost Zac and you have him. You are the one wearing his ring. But if you don't tell him about your lie on your own and soon you will lose him when the truth comes out and trust me it always comes out Bethany."
"Not always," Bethany counters as she chews her lip still looking vulnerable and scared. "I mean you could have kept the River secret forever."
Nodding at her words I smile, "I could have but I didn't have any enemies who knew my secret. You have Austin and your sister who has loose lips when she has sex with your exes and I may have told Nikki."
"Who probably told Isaac," Bethany states saying what I was thinking after my Nikki comment.
"Probably," I agree before sighing. "Just do what I couldn't and tell Zac the truth sooner and not seven years down the road."
Bethany nods though I notice tears going down her cheeks, "It doesn't matter if I tell him. He may be engaged to me but he doesn't love me. Do you know how many women he has fucked since we have been back from Jamaica?" she asks as her voice cracks. "I was happy when he told me about your lie because I thought I finally had him all to myself Natalie but I don't. I found him today with two women in our bed," she spits out as she shakes her head. "Trust me if he knew my secret it wouldn't crush him or ruin him as much as yours did."
Going silent at her confession I feel shocked. Zac fucking two other women in a bed he shares with Bethany. I get his anger but he is going about things wrong. "I'm sorry," I tell her honestly as I look away.
"It's not your fault," Bethany shrugs before standing from my couch, "well maybe in a way it is but you didn't make him do it," she wipes her eyes as she turns her back to me, leaving my living room with no other words.
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Days go by after my talk with Bethany. Days in which I still don't hear from Zac but eventually that is broken when in the middle of the night I'm awoken by a loud knocking on my door. A knocking that I am afraid will wake my kids so I quickly get out of bed just to answer it so it doesn't.
When I open the door I raise an eyebrow seeing Zac standing on my porch. I can tell from the whiff of alcohol he is drunk but I move aside to let him in anyway, shutting the door once he stumbles his way in. At least this time he didn't fall in the middle of my floor.
"Bethany told me not to come home drunk," he slurs before plopping down on my couch. "So I decided what the hell why not come see the woman who lied to me for years and ask if I can sleep on her couch. I may hate her but I need a place to sleep and my truck isn't that comfortable."
Listening to him ramble I walk over to the couch shaking my head, "It's three in the morning," I tell him before sitting down beside him. "You could have woken my kids up."
"Our kid..I could have woken our kid up too," he nods as he looks at me. "One of your kids is mine," he rambles as he laughs some. "How fucking stupid was I for not even remembering having sex with you? I mean god damn it sex with you is good. I should have remembered that pussy. I remembered sex with Bethany after being drunk."
Letting him ramble again I shrug, "But you didn't," I smile trying not to laugh at him saying he should have remembered that pussy. It just sounds too funny to me. "You didn't remember."
Zac sighs at that before laying his head on my shoulder, "If you hadn't fallen in love with me do you think you would have ever told me about River?"
"N..no," I whisper answering him honestly. I know if I hadn't fallen for him I wouldn't have told him about River.
"D..do you even love me like I love you?" Zac asks as his voice goes soft. "If you did why would you keep lying and not just tell me? That's been so hard for me to accept. That if you loved me why did you lie to me?"
I can't help but feel taken aback by Zac's questions. The fact that he is questioning my love for him. I knew he was mad at me but I never expected him to question my love for him. Never expected him to think that I didn't love him just because I still continued to keep a secret from him.
Swallowing hard I run a hand through my hair, "Of course I love you like you love me," I tell him seeing him give me a look as if he doesn't buy me words and I wish he would. I wish he knew how much I did love him. That I loved him enough to spare him the agony of telling him about Bethany's abortion and baby daddy lie. I loved him enough to let him believe she was a fucking saint..albeit a crazy one.
Zac shakes his head as he looks away from me, "No..you don't," he frowns before moving his head from my shoulder. "Maybe you never did. Doesn't matter though because I am trying not to love you anymore. Bethany's given me an ultimatium to get my shit together. I can't cheat on her anymore or she is leaving me for good. I love her Natalie and I can't lose her."
"I do Zac," I state feeling offended that he doesn't believe me. Standing from the couch I know I can't listen to his drunken ramblings anymore. Not if he is going to talk about not losing Bethany. "Just go to sleep okay. You are drunk and need sleep," I assure him before turning to leave the room.
"Bethany and I have a wedding date set," he speaks before I can even leave the room. Turning to look at him again I wait for him to tell me when the wedding is. "April first. She doesn't want to wait too long."
Feeling tears sting my eyes I turn away from him again and head to my bedroom where I shut the door. I feel sick knowing that in just three months he is going to be Bethany's husband. He is going to be tied to her for life and he will probably still be mad at me. He will probably still think I don't love him.
Laying back down on the bed I close my eyes and eventually drift off into a fitful sleep. When I wake the next morning I am not surprised to find Zac gone though I am surprised when he leaves a note telling me to contact him when my next ultrasound is because he wants to go. He also adds in that Taylor and I should be hearing from his lawyer soon about River and his filing for a DNA test.
After telling Zac about River, things in Jamaica just seem to get worse. He waited until after the show that night to confront Taylor, leaving Taylor with a black eye. He from what I heard through twitter was tense during his own solo show the next night and things remained the same the night after that, even though he and Bethany both went to the DJ thing Taylor did on the last night there.
Now I am just glad to be back home because I can stay away from Zac and keep Zac away from me when he is like he is. It's not even three days after Jamaica though that Zac is brought into my orbit again though it's not really my fault. Apparently it seems some tumblr has leaked news about me being pregnant along with a picture of Zac going down on me. A picture I had sent to myself months back, around the time the affair started.
I know there is only one place the fans could have gotten the shit but I remain silent or try to. It's hard to bite my tongue when I have fans telling me on twitter I am going to break up the band and referring to me as Yoko Ono.
Throwing my phone down on the coffee table I roll my eyes when I hear a knock at the door. I half expect it to be Taylor coming to bitch at me for all the shit that has happened so I try to prolong my walk there and when I open the door to see Bethany staring at me I wish I had prolonged it even more. I would have preferred Taylor over her.
"We need to talk," Bethany speaks first pushing her way inside of my house. "About the train wreck your life has become. I know that things can't be good for you and our baby," she says as I shut the door a little too loudly. "Though it seems like from what Zac has told me we have another child too. River is Zac's and eventually he'll be mine when Zac wins custody," she informs me and even though I am death glaring the back of her head I am sure she is smirking.
Sitting down on the couch I glare more when Bethany sits next to me, "Again they aren't your children and Zac will calm down enough that he won't take me to court."
Bethany makes a face before laughing, "You really think he will? I don't," she shrugs as she shakes her head. "Those leaked pics today just made him worse though he does agree with the fans who are calling you a slut. He says you're a slut who he hopes to see walk off a cliff..his words not mine."
"He really said that?" I ask feeling like I had been slapped hard. "He wants me to walk off a cliff?"
Bethany nods her head yes, "I think it's twisted myself to be honest," she admits which surprises even me. "I mean I get that you lied but I thought he loved you."
"I thought he loved me too," I speak as a lump forms in my throat. Maybe he isn't just angry. Maybe he has fallen out of love with me because of my lie. I have really lost Zac it seems and as I look at the engagement ring on Bethany's finger I feel sick knowing that she has him.
Looking back up and way from her engagement ring I chew my lip, "You know I could have told him about your lie too. The abortion instead of the miscarriage," I confess letting her know I have been informed. "But I didn't because as much as I hate you I couldn't ruin his faith in everyone. He may not admit it but he loves you in his own way," I nod coming to realize that too. "Otherwise he wouldn't have asked you to marry him already. He loves you and it's not my place to ruin that with your secret. That's on you."
"H..how did you know about the abortion?" Bethany asks me for once looking vulnerable and scared. "No one but Leigh knew and she hates you as much as I do."
"Your sister has a big mouth when she sleeps with your ex's," I laugh now feeling like I have at least gained something by this. "Maybe you should talk to her about that."
Bethany just sits there in silence after that her face showing her slow realization of my words. Her sister has betrayed her trust. "And you really chose not to tell Zac because you didn't wanna ruin his faith in everyone? You don't have plans to use this against me later?"
"What do I have to gain from using this against you?" I ask her as I shrug feeling defeated. "I have lost Zac. Telling him about River and then today's leak. I have lost Zac and you have him. You are the one wearing his ring. But if you don't tell him about your lie on your own and soon you will lose him when the truth comes out and trust me it always comes out Bethany."
"Not always," Bethany counters as she chews her lip still looking vulnerable and scared. "I mean you could have kept the River secret forever."
Nodding at her words I smile, "I could have but I didn't have any enemies who knew my secret. You have Austin and your sister who has loose lips when she has sex with your exes and I may have told Nikki."
"Who probably told Isaac," Bethany states saying what I was thinking after my Nikki comment.
"Probably," I agree before sighing. "Just do what I couldn't and tell Zac the truth sooner and not seven years down the road."
Bethany nods though I notice tears going down her cheeks, "It doesn't matter if I tell him. He may be engaged to me but he doesn't love me. Do you know how many women he has fucked since we have been back from Jamaica?" she asks as her voice cracks. "I was happy when he told me about your lie because I thought I finally had him all to myself Natalie but I don't. I found him today with two women in our bed," she spits out as she shakes her head. "Trust me if he knew my secret it wouldn't crush him or ruin him as much as yours did."
Going silent at her confession I feel shocked. Zac fucking two other women in a bed he shares with Bethany. I get his anger but he is going about things wrong. "I'm sorry," I tell her honestly as I look away.
"It's not your fault," Bethany shrugs before standing from my couch, "well maybe in a way it is but you didn't make him do it," she wipes her eyes as she turns her back to me, leaving my living room with no other words.
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Days go by after my talk with Bethany. Days in which I still don't hear from Zac but eventually that is broken when in the middle of the night I'm awoken by a loud knocking on my door. A knocking that I am afraid will wake my kids so I quickly get out of bed just to answer it so it doesn't.
When I open the door I raise an eyebrow seeing Zac standing on my porch. I can tell from the whiff of alcohol he is drunk but I move aside to let him in anyway, shutting the door once he stumbles his way in. At least this time he didn't fall in the middle of my floor.
"Bethany told me not to come home drunk," he slurs before plopping down on my couch. "So I decided what the hell why not come see the woman who lied to me for years and ask if I can sleep on her couch. I may hate her but I need a place to sleep and my truck isn't that comfortable."
Listening to him ramble I walk over to the couch shaking my head, "It's three in the morning," I tell him before sitting down beside him. "You could have woken my kids up."
"Our kid..I could have woken our kid up too," he nods as he looks at me. "One of your kids is mine," he rambles as he laughs some. "How fucking stupid was I for not even remembering having sex with you? I mean god damn it sex with you is good. I should have remembered that pussy. I remembered sex with Bethany after being drunk."
Letting him ramble again I shrug, "But you didn't," I smile trying not to laugh at him saying he should have remembered that pussy. It just sounds too funny to me. "You didn't remember."
Zac sighs at that before laying his head on my shoulder, "If you hadn't fallen in love with me do you think you would have ever told me about River?"
"N..no," I whisper answering him honestly. I know if I hadn't fallen for him I wouldn't have told him about River.
"D..do you even love me like I love you?" Zac asks as his voice goes soft. "If you did why would you keep lying and not just tell me? That's been so hard for me to accept. That if you loved me why did you lie to me?"
I can't help but feel taken aback by Zac's questions. The fact that he is questioning my love for him. I knew he was mad at me but I never expected him to question my love for him. Never expected him to think that I didn't love him just because I still continued to keep a secret from him.
Swallowing hard I run a hand through my hair, "Of course I love you like you love me," I tell him seeing him give me a look as if he doesn't buy me words and I wish he would. I wish he knew how much I did love him. That I loved him enough to spare him the agony of telling him about Bethany's abortion and baby daddy lie. I loved him enough to let him believe she was a fucking saint..albeit a crazy one.
Zac shakes his head as he looks away from me, "No..you don't," he frowns before moving his head from my shoulder. "Maybe you never did. Doesn't matter though because I am trying not to love you anymore. Bethany's given me an ultimatium to get my shit together. I can't cheat on her anymore or she is leaving me for good. I love her Natalie and I can't lose her."
"I do Zac," I state feeling offended that he doesn't believe me. Standing from the couch I know I can't listen to his drunken ramblings anymore. Not if he is going to talk about not losing Bethany. "Just go to sleep okay. You are drunk and need sleep," I assure him before turning to leave the room.
"Bethany and I have a wedding date set," he speaks before I can even leave the room. Turning to look at him again I wait for him to tell me when the wedding is. "April first. She doesn't want to wait too long."
Feeling tears sting my eyes I turn away from him again and head to my bedroom where I shut the door. I feel sick knowing that in just three months he is going to be Bethany's husband. He is going to be tied to her for life and he will probably still be mad at me. He will probably still think I don't love him.
Laying back down on the bed I close my eyes and eventually drift off into a fitful sleep. When I wake the next morning I am not surprised to find Zac gone though I am surprised when he leaves a note telling me to contact him when my next ultrasound is because he wants to go. He also adds in that Taylor and I should be hearing from his lawyer soon about River and his filing for a DNA test.