Once he had felt like he was done hurling Zac reached up to flush the toilet and as he did so, he watched as Harry got some toilet paper and when Harry bent down to wipe his mouth off Zac didn't stop him, wasn't sure he could find it in himself to stop Harry even if he had ended his friendship with Harry.
"Y..you knew?" Zac asked after Harry finished wiping his mouth off and threw the discarded piece of toilet paper into the toilet.
Harry nodded as he gave Zac a sympathetic smile before fully sitting down on the floor, "I tried to tell you today, well about Taylor anyway," he said as he shook his head. "Probably wasn't the best move because it's never nice to out anyone but I was just hurt with how you had treated me, ending our friendship over something I can't help."
"But you can help it," Zac said his voice coming out bitter though he wasn't actually bitter that Harry was gay. He was more bitter at everything he had just found out. "It's always a choice. The bible says so."
"The bible or your dad?" Harry questioned as he raised an eyebrow.
Going silent Zac looked away from him briefly, "Both," he finally answered once he looked at Harry again. "It's wrong and you can help it," he said again as he shook his head. "Taylor can help it too," he whispered not even sure Harry had heard what he said. "Taylor knows it's wrong just like he knows dressing like a woman is wrong...when our dad finds out he is going to kill him."
"Taylor may know he was raised to believe it was wrong but to him it isn't wrong," Harry argued and Zac kept his gaze on Harry surprised that he didn't look agitated over the fact that they seemed to be going in circles because neither of them wanted to budge on their way of thinking. "It's who he was because he was born that way."
"And who is my brother?" Zac asked as he took a deep breath almost bracing himself for Harry's words as if they had the ability to punch him or harm him physically.
Harry never once took his eyes off Zac as he opened his mouth to speak, "Your brother is a gay man who likes to dress up like a woman on occasion and if you ask me he makes a pretty woman, better than some I have seen."
Again Zac went silent but this time it was to stop himself from saying that Harry would make a pretty woman too. Harry would make a pretty woman but just like it was wrong for Taylor to dress as a woman it was wrong for Harry as well and it was equally wrong that they were both gay.
"What about Kate and Natalie?" Zac questioned again his voice coming out in a whisper.
"They've been dating for the better part of a year now according to what Natalie has said," Harry answered as he again gave Zac a sympathetic smile. "I wanted so bad to tell you once we became friends but I couldn't."
"You could have," Zac said as he looked away from Harry. "I think I deserved to know my girlfriend was cheating on me."
Sighing loudly Harry fell silent and Zac hated the silence right now because every bit of it gave him time to replay the scene at the table where Taylor, Natalie, and Kate had been. How Kate had been holding Natalie's hand and Taylor in his dress and glittery eye shadow.
It was all too much to take in and Zac wanted a time machine to go back and erase the last few hours, stop himself from following Taylor or taking Johnny's offer to see who the mysterious chick had been with Natalie and Kate.
"I couldn't have because again it's not nice to out anyone and it wasn't my place to out Kate. Kate deserves to tell people on her own time," Harry voiced out loud and Zac looked back at him, hating that some of what he said made sense. "And honestly I don't think she was your girlfriend in the ways it counted. Maybe to you she was because you didn't know but to her you were just her cover to keep people from knowing she's a lesbian."
Frowning as realization from Harry's words hit him Zac did his best to ignore the lump that had been building in his throat, "So not only was she using me but she was lying to her parents?" he asked semi understanding why she'd lie to them though. Becky and Tom went to his dad's church and he knew they thought just like his dad did, that being gay was wrong and a sin.
Nodding his head Harry finally frowned and Zac figured that was better than some sympathetic smile. "I'm sure she felt awful for using you," he said though Zac wasn't sure he could believe Harry. "Sometimes when you try to hide who you are, you don't think of other people.."
"She could have told me instead of making me think..." Zac started but stopped because deep down he knew Kate couldn't have told him. He thought being gay was wrong and he probably would have blabbed to his dad and her parents would have found out.
"Yeah I don't think she could have," Harry said as he shook his head no. "But you know now..maybe you didn't find out how she wanted you too but you know, same with your brother."
Zac nodded his head before sighing, "So what do I do?" he asked as chewed his lip. "I..I know it's wrong and it's disgusting but you say it's wrong to out people as well so that means I can't tell my dad either or Kate's parents."
"You keep it to yourself," a female voice came from the other side of the stall door and both Zac and Harry turned to look, seeing feet on the other side. "If you know what's best anyway."
Standing up from the floor, Harry wiped at his pants with his hands before unlocking and opening the stall to reveal Kate standing there.
"I had to fight off Taylor from coming back here," Kate said as she crossed her arms and looked down at Zac which made Zac blush as he swallowed the lump in his throat because even with what he knew he felt like she was judging him when he should be the one judging her. "Can I speak to him alone Harry?"
At Kate's question, Harry looked down at Zac hesitantly but eventually he nodded his head and made his way out of the stall, "Don't kill him Katie and don't let Taylor kill him either," he called out before leaving the bathroom.
Standing up after Harry left, Zac wasn't really sure why he did. It could have been so he could look at Kate better or maybe the real reason was so he could feel less judged by her.
"Are you going to kill me?" Zac asked as he eyed Kate feeling a bit scared that she might actually kill him.
Kate laughed at that, all judgement or stern looks she had been giving Zac evaporating as she uncrossed her arms and reached out to pull Zac into a hug, the first bit of actual physical contact they had shared in months, "I could never kill you Zachary," she muttered out as she held him closer to her. "You mean too much to me."
"I meant so much that you used me," Zac spoke not even realizing at first that he had begun to cry until he began to feel his body shake slightly in Kate's embrace. "You used me."
"I know and that was wrong of me," Kate said as she hugged him tighter, rubbing his back. "But I needed an excuse as to why I wasn't interested in boys. My parents were starting to wonder and I knew you had a puppy dog crush on me and yes I used you but I did come to at least consider you my friend..a friend I care a lot for."
Pulling away from the hug Zac looked at her, "A friend you trust with your secret?" he asked knowing she had said he should keep it or else.
Kate paused and looked as if she was thinking over her words, "I want too," she nodded as she gave Zac a smile. "Taylor told me I shouldn't while I was arguing with him on coming back here and maybe I shouldn't since you had to ask Harry what you should do but I want too."
"I can keep it," Zac said knowing even if he thought it was wrong he'd keep this secret for Kate.
Smiling Kate reached out and pulled Zac into another hug though this one was brief and when she pulled away she reached up to wipe at Zac's eyes, "How about you stay and come dance with Natalie, Taylor and I?"
Shaking his head Zac did his best to try and remain strong even if he still felt like shit and like he had been kicked one too many times, "Nah, I think I'm gonna go home and sleep," he admitted honestly as began to make his way out of the bathroom stall with Kate at his side.
As they walked to the door to exit the bathroom in silence, Zac paused briefly before opening the door, "If you're dating Natalie then who is Taylor dating?" he asked curiously as he looked over at Kate.
"Some older guy named Alex," Kate admitted as she shook her head. "He's an asshole but Natalie and I keep our mouths shut on what we think of him when around Taylor."
Nodding at Kate's words Zac opened the bathroom door and walked out with her and as he walked to the front door in which he came in with Harry and Johnny, he turned and looked watching as Kate joined back up with his brother and Natalie and then his eyes landed on Harry who had finally joined Johnny on the dance floor and Zac had to look away, not sure why he hated seeing Harry with Johnny but then again Johnny was a douche and if Harry was going to go to hell for his lifestyle he should at least be with someone who wasn't a douche.
Shaking his head at that though Zac finally willed his legs to move again and he exited the Rainbow Lounge, heading back to where he had parked his parents car. Hopefully if he went home and slept he would wake to find this was all a dream, though deep down he knew that was wishful thinking.
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Zac who had been peacefully asleep even with everything that had happened earlier, woke up slightly when he felt a shift in his bed and as he opened his eyes it took him a bit to adjust to just the moonlight coming through his window but when he did he realized he had been awoken by Harry.
"Harry?" he questioned keeping his voice low as he watched Harry turn to look at him in the dark. "What are you doing in my bed?"
"Wanted to make sure you were okay," Harry answered and Zac swore he could make out a faint smile on Harry's lips. "Begged Taylor to let me come home with him and then I called and begged my mom after Taylor agreed."
Rolling his eyes Zac tried his best to stay mad at Harry or even feel disgusted that Harry was in his bed but he was finding that hard, "I'm surprised you didn't go home with Johnny."
"He's not my boyfriend," Harry spoke as if Zac's words had made him defensive. "Don't need to be with him twenty-four seven...he's just a good fuck and anyway even if I was, you are...were my friend and I was worried."
"I'm fine," Zac said telling Harry a half truth. He wasn't yet fine but he would be. "Just go to sleep now," he said as he closed his eyes and hoped to get back to the peaceful sleep he had been in but the moment he felt Harry snuggle into him, pulling his arm around his waist Zac wasn't sure peaceful sleep would be easy.
Not when his heart had began to beat rapidly and goosebumps had formed on his flesh because of Harry's curls resting on his bare chest. Harry was entirely too close for comfort and Zac didn't like it or at least he didn't think he did if the bundle of whatever that was in his stomach was any indication but he could smell the alcohol on Harry and he knew it was no use to confront him now.
"Sleep well Zachary," Harry yawned out. "Dream of the pretty woman your brother makes," he said before giggling. "Or don't because that would be weird."
Zac couldn't help but laugh at that as well, "Think I'd rather dream of the pretty woman you'd make," he said before he could even stop himself and the moment the words left his mouth he felt the air grow thick which made him open his eyes to see Harry just staring at him with a huge grin on his lips.
"You think I'd make a pretty woman?" Harry asked and Zac nodded his head as a blush worked it's way to his cheeks. "Johnny says I'd make an ugly woman."
"Johnny's an asshole and not your boyfriend," Zac stated feeling a bit proud at the last comment. "It shouldn't matter what he thinks."
Harry pursed his lips as he took in Zac's words, "But you're not even my friend so it shouldn't matter that you think I'd make a pretty woman."
Frowning at Harry's words Zac chewed his lip as he pulled Harry closer into him without even really thinking, "Maybe we could be friends again. I mean I guess I'm still sort of friends with Kate and I can't stop being brothers with Taylor."
"I'd like it if we were friends again," Harry admitted as he closed his eyes and before Zac could say anything else he watched as Harry's breathing evened out and he knew Harry was out like a light.
"I'd like it if were friends again too," Zac responded as he closed his own eyes and he continued holding Harry not even sure how he had become the big spoon to Harry's little spoon and right now he didn't even care. He just wanted sleep again and to ignore the ball of nerves in his stomach that had made themselves at home at how uncomfortable or well he thought he was uncomfortable, with how close Harry was to him.
"Going to dream of you as a pretty woman," Zac whispered as he yawned softly. "At least then if you were a woman I could like you."
"Y..you knew?" Zac asked after Harry finished wiping his mouth off and threw the discarded piece of toilet paper into the toilet.
Harry nodded as he gave Zac a sympathetic smile before fully sitting down on the floor, "I tried to tell you today, well about Taylor anyway," he said as he shook his head. "Probably wasn't the best move because it's never nice to out anyone but I was just hurt with how you had treated me, ending our friendship over something I can't help."
"But you can help it," Zac said his voice coming out bitter though he wasn't actually bitter that Harry was gay. He was more bitter at everything he had just found out. "It's always a choice. The bible says so."
"The bible or your dad?" Harry questioned as he raised an eyebrow.
Going silent Zac looked away from him briefly, "Both," he finally answered once he looked at Harry again. "It's wrong and you can help it," he said again as he shook his head. "Taylor can help it too," he whispered not even sure Harry had heard what he said. "Taylor knows it's wrong just like he knows dressing like a woman is wrong...when our dad finds out he is going to kill him."
"Taylor may know he was raised to believe it was wrong but to him it isn't wrong," Harry argued and Zac kept his gaze on Harry surprised that he didn't look agitated over the fact that they seemed to be going in circles because neither of them wanted to budge on their way of thinking. "It's who he was because he was born that way."
"And who is my brother?" Zac asked as he took a deep breath almost bracing himself for Harry's words as if they had the ability to punch him or harm him physically.
Harry never once took his eyes off Zac as he opened his mouth to speak, "Your brother is a gay man who likes to dress up like a woman on occasion and if you ask me he makes a pretty woman, better than some I have seen."
Again Zac went silent but this time it was to stop himself from saying that Harry would make a pretty woman too. Harry would make a pretty woman but just like it was wrong for Taylor to dress as a woman it was wrong for Harry as well and it was equally wrong that they were both gay.
"What about Kate and Natalie?" Zac questioned again his voice coming out in a whisper.
"They've been dating for the better part of a year now according to what Natalie has said," Harry answered as he again gave Zac a sympathetic smile. "I wanted so bad to tell you once we became friends but I couldn't."
"You could have," Zac said as he looked away from Harry. "I think I deserved to know my girlfriend was cheating on me."
Sighing loudly Harry fell silent and Zac hated the silence right now because every bit of it gave him time to replay the scene at the table where Taylor, Natalie, and Kate had been. How Kate had been holding Natalie's hand and Taylor in his dress and glittery eye shadow.
It was all too much to take in and Zac wanted a time machine to go back and erase the last few hours, stop himself from following Taylor or taking Johnny's offer to see who the mysterious chick had been with Natalie and Kate.
"I couldn't have because again it's not nice to out anyone and it wasn't my place to out Kate. Kate deserves to tell people on her own time," Harry voiced out loud and Zac looked back at him, hating that some of what he said made sense. "And honestly I don't think she was your girlfriend in the ways it counted. Maybe to you she was because you didn't know but to her you were just her cover to keep people from knowing she's a lesbian."
Frowning as realization from Harry's words hit him Zac did his best to ignore the lump that had been building in his throat, "So not only was she using me but she was lying to her parents?" he asked semi understanding why she'd lie to them though. Becky and Tom went to his dad's church and he knew they thought just like his dad did, that being gay was wrong and a sin.
Nodding his head Harry finally frowned and Zac figured that was better than some sympathetic smile. "I'm sure she felt awful for using you," he said though Zac wasn't sure he could believe Harry. "Sometimes when you try to hide who you are, you don't think of other people.."
"She could have told me instead of making me think..." Zac started but stopped because deep down he knew Kate couldn't have told him. He thought being gay was wrong and he probably would have blabbed to his dad and her parents would have found out.
"Yeah I don't think she could have," Harry said as he shook his head no. "But you know now..maybe you didn't find out how she wanted you too but you know, same with your brother."
Zac nodded his head before sighing, "So what do I do?" he asked as chewed his lip. "I..I know it's wrong and it's disgusting but you say it's wrong to out people as well so that means I can't tell my dad either or Kate's parents."
"You keep it to yourself," a female voice came from the other side of the stall door and both Zac and Harry turned to look, seeing feet on the other side. "If you know what's best anyway."
Standing up from the floor, Harry wiped at his pants with his hands before unlocking and opening the stall to reveal Kate standing there.
"I had to fight off Taylor from coming back here," Kate said as she crossed her arms and looked down at Zac which made Zac blush as he swallowed the lump in his throat because even with what he knew he felt like she was judging him when he should be the one judging her. "Can I speak to him alone Harry?"
At Kate's question, Harry looked down at Zac hesitantly but eventually he nodded his head and made his way out of the stall, "Don't kill him Katie and don't let Taylor kill him either," he called out before leaving the bathroom.
Standing up after Harry left, Zac wasn't really sure why he did. It could have been so he could look at Kate better or maybe the real reason was so he could feel less judged by her.
"Are you going to kill me?" Zac asked as he eyed Kate feeling a bit scared that she might actually kill him.
Kate laughed at that, all judgement or stern looks she had been giving Zac evaporating as she uncrossed her arms and reached out to pull Zac into a hug, the first bit of actual physical contact they had shared in months, "I could never kill you Zachary," she muttered out as she held him closer to her. "You mean too much to me."
"I meant so much that you used me," Zac spoke not even realizing at first that he had begun to cry until he began to feel his body shake slightly in Kate's embrace. "You used me."
"I know and that was wrong of me," Kate said as she hugged him tighter, rubbing his back. "But I needed an excuse as to why I wasn't interested in boys. My parents were starting to wonder and I knew you had a puppy dog crush on me and yes I used you but I did come to at least consider you my friend..a friend I care a lot for."
Pulling away from the hug Zac looked at her, "A friend you trust with your secret?" he asked knowing she had said he should keep it or else.
Kate paused and looked as if she was thinking over her words, "I want too," she nodded as she gave Zac a smile. "Taylor told me I shouldn't while I was arguing with him on coming back here and maybe I shouldn't since you had to ask Harry what you should do but I want too."
"I can keep it," Zac said knowing even if he thought it was wrong he'd keep this secret for Kate.
Smiling Kate reached out and pulled Zac into another hug though this one was brief and when she pulled away she reached up to wipe at Zac's eyes, "How about you stay and come dance with Natalie, Taylor and I?"
Shaking his head Zac did his best to try and remain strong even if he still felt like shit and like he had been kicked one too many times, "Nah, I think I'm gonna go home and sleep," he admitted honestly as began to make his way out of the bathroom stall with Kate at his side.
As they walked to the door to exit the bathroom in silence, Zac paused briefly before opening the door, "If you're dating Natalie then who is Taylor dating?" he asked curiously as he looked over at Kate.
"Some older guy named Alex," Kate admitted as she shook her head. "He's an asshole but Natalie and I keep our mouths shut on what we think of him when around Taylor."
Nodding at Kate's words Zac opened the bathroom door and walked out with her and as he walked to the front door in which he came in with Harry and Johnny, he turned and looked watching as Kate joined back up with his brother and Natalie and then his eyes landed on Harry who had finally joined Johnny on the dance floor and Zac had to look away, not sure why he hated seeing Harry with Johnny but then again Johnny was a douche and if Harry was going to go to hell for his lifestyle he should at least be with someone who wasn't a douche.
Shaking his head at that though Zac finally willed his legs to move again and he exited the Rainbow Lounge, heading back to where he had parked his parents car. Hopefully if he went home and slept he would wake to find this was all a dream, though deep down he knew that was wishful thinking.
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Zac who had been peacefully asleep even with everything that had happened earlier, woke up slightly when he felt a shift in his bed and as he opened his eyes it took him a bit to adjust to just the moonlight coming through his window but when he did he realized he had been awoken by Harry.
"Harry?" he questioned keeping his voice low as he watched Harry turn to look at him in the dark. "What are you doing in my bed?"
"Wanted to make sure you were okay," Harry answered and Zac swore he could make out a faint smile on Harry's lips. "Begged Taylor to let me come home with him and then I called and begged my mom after Taylor agreed."
Rolling his eyes Zac tried his best to stay mad at Harry or even feel disgusted that Harry was in his bed but he was finding that hard, "I'm surprised you didn't go home with Johnny."
"He's not my boyfriend," Harry spoke as if Zac's words had made him defensive. "Don't need to be with him twenty-four seven...he's just a good fuck and anyway even if I was, you are...were my friend and I was worried."
"I'm fine," Zac said telling Harry a half truth. He wasn't yet fine but he would be. "Just go to sleep now," he said as he closed his eyes and hoped to get back to the peaceful sleep he had been in but the moment he felt Harry snuggle into him, pulling his arm around his waist Zac wasn't sure peaceful sleep would be easy.
Not when his heart had began to beat rapidly and goosebumps had formed on his flesh because of Harry's curls resting on his bare chest. Harry was entirely too close for comfort and Zac didn't like it or at least he didn't think he did if the bundle of whatever that was in his stomach was any indication but he could smell the alcohol on Harry and he knew it was no use to confront him now.
"Sleep well Zachary," Harry yawned out. "Dream of the pretty woman your brother makes," he said before giggling. "Or don't because that would be weird."
Zac couldn't help but laugh at that as well, "Think I'd rather dream of the pretty woman you'd make," he said before he could even stop himself and the moment the words left his mouth he felt the air grow thick which made him open his eyes to see Harry just staring at him with a huge grin on his lips.
"You think I'd make a pretty woman?" Harry asked and Zac nodded his head as a blush worked it's way to his cheeks. "Johnny says I'd make an ugly woman."
"Johnny's an asshole and not your boyfriend," Zac stated feeling a bit proud at the last comment. "It shouldn't matter what he thinks."
Harry pursed his lips as he took in Zac's words, "But you're not even my friend so it shouldn't matter that you think I'd make a pretty woman."
Frowning at Harry's words Zac chewed his lip as he pulled Harry closer into him without even really thinking, "Maybe we could be friends again. I mean I guess I'm still sort of friends with Kate and I can't stop being brothers with Taylor."
"I'd like it if we were friends again," Harry admitted as he closed his eyes and before Zac could say anything else he watched as Harry's breathing evened out and he knew Harry was out like a light.
"I'd like it if were friends again too," Zac responded as he closed his own eyes and he continued holding Harry not even sure how he had become the big spoon to Harry's little spoon and right now he didn't even care. He just wanted sleep again and to ignore the ball of nerves in his stomach that had made themselves at home at how uncomfortable or well he thought he was uncomfortable, with how close Harry was to him.
"Going to dream of you as a pretty woman," Zac whispered as he yawned softly. "At least then if you were a woman I could like you."
