Cannonball
Natalie sighed as she sat home alone again. This has been the norm now for her for almost twelve years. She had known when she married Taylor that more than not he would be busy but she hadn't expected most of their years to consist of her sitting at home alone with their ever growing number of kids while he was off doing whatever the hell he was doing and tonight Natalie knew who he was doing. She had always known.
Shaking her head she slipped off her wedding band, laying it on the coffee table on top of the divorce papers she had filed yesterday. She was tired of living in her fantasy world. She was tired of believing Taylor's lies, tired of believing he wasn't in love with someone else because he was.
After her wedding band was gone she frowned as she looked down at her now bare hand. She felt naked not wearing the ring she had always wore but she was sure she'd get used to it. She always got used to things eventually.
The knock at her door brought her out of her thoughts though and she stood from the couch. Going to the door she opened it to find Kate staring at her. She had called Kate over so that Kate could help her get the kids ready and she could leave before Taylor even got home. She knew if she waited until after he got home she'd never leave him. He'd use his damn ability to know every one of her weaknesses against her. He'd use just how much she was still wrapped around his fingers against her.
"You sure you want to do this?" Kate asked her best friend as she walked into the house. "I mean leaving Taylor and going back to Georgia is such a huge step."
Natalie shrugged, "It's huge but it's my best option," she reasoned. "It's better than staying here and being played for a fool all the time. But you wouldn't understand," she smiled as she turned her back to Kate. Truth was if anyone understood it would be Kate but Kate, well she relied on God more than Natalie did.
Feeling Kate following her as she walked down the hallway to her bedroom she chewed on her lip. "Is Zac home tonight?" she asked before going to her closet and grabbing the suitcase she'd take what stuff she could in.
Kate shook her head as she eyed Natalie, "No, late night at the studio," she answered as she began to help Natalie pack. "You know how it always is."
"I do," Natalie muttered under her breath as packed her stuff away with Kate's help. With the help of her friend it took less time than it normally would have to pack her stuff up. It took her less time which she was thankful for.
"My mom has the kids so we can pack their stuff up easy too," she said once they had finished with her stuff. "You can get Willa and Penny's stuff and I'll do the boys. We'll meet back here when done."
At Natalie's words Kate nodded briefly before leaving the room. She knew once this was done and her friend gone things would change for everyone. She was almost scared though of what the change would mean for her in particular. If it would hurt her own marriage.
Once Kate was out of the room Natalie waited for awhile before leaving and heading to the boys rooms to pack up their stuff. It wasn't that she was procrastinating but packing made things real. Packing meant she was actually giving up on Taylor. Taylor had been her first love. The man who would always have her heart. Could she really just forget that? She wasn't sure if she could. She had a sick feeling that no matter where she went Taylor would always be a part of her, aside from them sharing kids.
"It will be okay Nat," she told herself hoping that it was true. Things had to get better than they had been. Things always had to get better. If they didn't then what was the point in life, what was the point in anything.
Before she knew it she had finished packing up what she could for each of the boys and she made her way back to her bedroom where Kate was sitting on the bed, her frame shacking which Natalie knew meant she was crying. Frowning she laid the boys bags on the bed before sitting down next to Kate. "Are you okay?" she asked putting her hand on Kate's back.
Kate looked at Natalie through her tears, "I'm just scared what you leaving will mean for me," she admitted as she laid her head on Natalie's shoulder. "What is going to happen to my own marriage now. I may have less kids then you but I don't think I know how to cope if Zac leaves me."
"Zac won't leave you," Natalie said her voice not sounding as certain as she hoped. "Me being married to Taylor was never the glue that held you and Zac together."
Kate couldn't help but laugh at that, "No but it helped," she frowned as she calmed some. "Especially with you know what. You staying married to Taylor kept it from going any farther. With you gone it could happen and I could lose my happy marriage."
At the mention of it, Natalie knew what Kate was referring too. It was her main reason for leaving. She knew of course Kate would be worried about what could happen now. There was nothing blocking it. Maybe that's how it was supposed to be. It's not like Taylor gave a shit what he lost because of it.
"I doubt it will happen," she lied hoping that Kate believed it. "Now come on, lets get stuff to my car so I can get going," she smiled as she stood up, grabbing a few of the bags.
As she left the room she could hear Kate following behind her. Kate followed her all the way out to the car where they slipped the bags in the trunk. All of the bags were able to be loaded in just one trip.
Shutting the trunk Natalie looked at Kate before walking to the driver's side door, "I guess this is it," she said watching as Kate looked close to tears again. Pulling Kate into a hug she held her tight. "Promise me if things change you'll leave too Katie."
Kate hugged Natalie, closing her eyes tight to keep from crying again, "I will try to do that," she said not sure if she could just up and leave Zac. She knew her three kids needed their father..even if...well she'd rather not think about it.
Natalie didn't feel satisfied with Kate's answer but she pulled away from the hug anyway, "I'll see you at some point again," she nodded before opening the door. It was the truth, she was sure of it. Whether it be by Kate leaving or Natalie bringing her kids back to Tulsa for family stuff she was sure she'd see Kate again. "Goodbye," she smiled as she got in, shutting the door behind her.
Starting her car up she was unable to look at Kate as she pulled out of the driveway. The only time she did look at Kate was after she had pulled out and was driving down her street towards her mom's house.
The drive to her mom's wasn't long but for the hell of it Natalie also drove by the hotel Taylor frequented often during their years of marriage. The hotel he stayed at when he said he'd be working late. She wasn't surprised when she found his car parked in it's usual place or even when she found Zac's truck parked beside it.
They were together again, though they had never really stopped being together. Not when Taylor married Natalie. Not when Zac married Kate. Not even after having kids. They kept seeing each other. Natalie had always known though she played dumb. Same with Kate. They had decided it was better that way but now Natalie knew playing dumb wasn't doing her any good.
"At least one of us can be happy," she said sadly as she drove past the hotel. Taylor in the end would be the one happy. She'd still suffer because she was leaving the man she loved. The man who would always love his brother more than her. It was a hard pill to swallow but Natalie was sick of swallowing those pills. She just hoped that one day Kate would be too. That Kate would see playing dumb was just going to hurt her more than leaving.
Natalie sighed as she sat home alone again. This has been the norm now for her for almost twelve years. She had known when she married Taylor that more than not he would be busy but she hadn't expected most of their years to consist of her sitting at home alone with their ever growing number of kids while he was off doing whatever the hell he was doing and tonight Natalie knew who he was doing. She had always known.
Shaking her head she slipped off her wedding band, laying it on the coffee table on top of the divorce papers she had filed yesterday. She was tired of living in her fantasy world. She was tired of believing Taylor's lies, tired of believing he wasn't in love with someone else because he was.
After her wedding band was gone she frowned as she looked down at her now bare hand. She felt naked not wearing the ring she had always wore but she was sure she'd get used to it. She always got used to things eventually.
The knock at her door brought her out of her thoughts though and she stood from the couch. Going to the door she opened it to find Kate staring at her. She had called Kate over so that Kate could help her get the kids ready and she could leave before Taylor even got home. She knew if she waited until after he got home she'd never leave him. He'd use his damn ability to know every one of her weaknesses against her. He'd use just how much she was still wrapped around his fingers against her.
"You sure you want to do this?" Kate asked her best friend as she walked into the house. "I mean leaving Taylor and going back to Georgia is such a huge step."
Natalie shrugged, "It's huge but it's my best option," she reasoned. "It's better than staying here and being played for a fool all the time. But you wouldn't understand," she smiled as she turned her back to Kate. Truth was if anyone understood it would be Kate but Kate, well she relied on God more than Natalie did.
Feeling Kate following her as she walked down the hallway to her bedroom she chewed on her lip. "Is Zac home tonight?" she asked before going to her closet and grabbing the suitcase she'd take what stuff she could in.
Kate shook her head as she eyed Natalie, "No, late night at the studio," she answered as she began to help Natalie pack. "You know how it always is."
"I do," Natalie muttered under her breath as packed her stuff away with Kate's help. With the help of her friend it took less time than it normally would have to pack her stuff up. It took her less time which she was thankful for.
"My mom has the kids so we can pack their stuff up easy too," she said once they had finished with her stuff. "You can get Willa and Penny's stuff and I'll do the boys. We'll meet back here when done."
At Natalie's words Kate nodded briefly before leaving the room. She knew once this was done and her friend gone things would change for everyone. She was almost scared though of what the change would mean for her in particular. If it would hurt her own marriage.
Once Kate was out of the room Natalie waited for awhile before leaving and heading to the boys rooms to pack up their stuff. It wasn't that she was procrastinating but packing made things real. Packing meant she was actually giving up on Taylor. Taylor had been her first love. The man who would always have her heart. Could she really just forget that? She wasn't sure if she could. She had a sick feeling that no matter where she went Taylor would always be a part of her, aside from them sharing kids.
"It will be okay Nat," she told herself hoping that it was true. Things had to get better than they had been. Things always had to get better. If they didn't then what was the point in life, what was the point in anything.
Before she knew it she had finished packing up what she could for each of the boys and she made her way back to her bedroom where Kate was sitting on the bed, her frame shacking which Natalie knew meant she was crying. Frowning she laid the boys bags on the bed before sitting down next to Kate. "Are you okay?" she asked putting her hand on Kate's back.
Kate looked at Natalie through her tears, "I'm just scared what you leaving will mean for me," she admitted as she laid her head on Natalie's shoulder. "What is going to happen to my own marriage now. I may have less kids then you but I don't think I know how to cope if Zac leaves me."
"Zac won't leave you," Natalie said her voice not sounding as certain as she hoped. "Me being married to Taylor was never the glue that held you and Zac together."
Kate couldn't help but laugh at that, "No but it helped," she frowned as she calmed some. "Especially with you know what. You staying married to Taylor kept it from going any farther. With you gone it could happen and I could lose my happy marriage."
At the mention of it, Natalie knew what Kate was referring too. It was her main reason for leaving. She knew of course Kate would be worried about what could happen now. There was nothing blocking it. Maybe that's how it was supposed to be. It's not like Taylor gave a shit what he lost because of it.
"I doubt it will happen," she lied hoping that Kate believed it. "Now come on, lets get stuff to my car so I can get going," she smiled as she stood up, grabbing a few of the bags.
As she left the room she could hear Kate following behind her. Kate followed her all the way out to the car where they slipped the bags in the trunk. All of the bags were able to be loaded in just one trip.
Shutting the trunk Natalie looked at Kate before walking to the driver's side door, "I guess this is it," she said watching as Kate looked close to tears again. Pulling Kate into a hug she held her tight. "Promise me if things change you'll leave too Katie."
Kate hugged Natalie, closing her eyes tight to keep from crying again, "I will try to do that," she said not sure if she could just up and leave Zac. She knew her three kids needed their father..even if...well she'd rather not think about it.
Natalie didn't feel satisfied with Kate's answer but she pulled away from the hug anyway, "I'll see you at some point again," she nodded before opening the door. It was the truth, she was sure of it. Whether it be by Kate leaving or Natalie bringing her kids back to Tulsa for family stuff she was sure she'd see Kate again. "Goodbye," she smiled as she got in, shutting the door behind her.
Starting her car up she was unable to look at Kate as she pulled out of the driveway. The only time she did look at Kate was after she had pulled out and was driving down her street towards her mom's house.
The drive to her mom's wasn't long but for the hell of it Natalie also drove by the hotel Taylor frequented often during their years of marriage. The hotel he stayed at when he said he'd be working late. She wasn't surprised when she found his car parked in it's usual place or even when she found Zac's truck parked beside it.
They were together again, though they had never really stopped being together. Not when Taylor married Natalie. Not when Zac married Kate. Not even after having kids. They kept seeing each other. Natalie had always known though she played dumb. Same with Kate. They had decided it was better that way but now Natalie knew playing dumb wasn't doing her any good.
"At least one of us can be happy," she said sadly as she drove past the hotel. Taylor in the end would be the one happy. She'd still suffer because she was leaving the man she loved. The man who would always love his brother more than her. It was a hard pill to swallow but Natalie was sick of swallowing those pills. She just hoped that one day Kate would be too. That Kate would see playing dumb was just going to hurt her more than leaving.