Tempest In A Teacup Chapter Five
The days after finding out that Zac is out of town seem to pass in a blur. A blur I blame on my anger. Anger that he didn't come back when I called him and left the message of needing him. Anger that he would push me aside for that god damn crazy hussy. I'm angry and hurt.
I know I shouldn't but I decide to take my anger out on Taylor when I drop the kids off at his house on Friday. He just seems so unsuspecting when he opens the door. He is wearing the smile I hate and that is enough ammo for me to use him as my target for being pissed off.
"Natalie," Taylor squeaks when he sees my glare. It's kind of funny how fast he drops the smile and moves slowly to let the kids inside. "D..did I do something wrong?" he asks motioning me inside. "I mean I don't think I did but if I did I'm sorry."
At his apology I roll my eyes, "When do you ever do anything right?" I snap out as I turn to face him, making sure he can't go too far in the house. "You've been ruining my life since I married you."
I notice Taylor flinch at my words but I don't stop. No I keep going. "You know how you ruined my life the most?" I ask him before crossing my arms.
"How?" Taylor asks me his voice staying low. "How did I ruin your life the most Natalie?"
Keeping my arms crossed I glare more, "By making me lie about River's paternity. If I had just told Zac the day before his wedding like I wanted to do then I could have left you a long time ago. I could be with Zac right now but no instead he is with some slut."
Taylor glares now obviously not liking my words or the fact that I am bringing this up. He has never liked the subject of River's paternity. He hadn't been none too happy when he found out I was pregnant. He knew when I found out not long after Christmas that I was expecting it wasn't his baby. He had still been holding out sex on me. It had been three months still since we had sex and I was only a few weeks. He had questioned me and like a scared girl I had confessed it all but he promised me we would get past it as long as Zac didn't know. We didn't want to ruin his happy upcoming marriage to Kate he claimed. That was why he was going to pretend. It was all for Zac and his happiness.
"I wanted to tell him Taylor. I wanted to tell him before he walked down that aisle. He had a right to know I was carrying his baby," I whisper feeling tears come into my eyes. "He has a right to know now."
"You think he'd chose you now if he knew River was his son?" Taylor asks as he raises his voice, pushing past me. "You think he'd do that? I mean hell he knows you are already carrying one bastard child and that hasn't changed his mind. Like you said he is with some slut," Taylor yells and I follow his voice, finding him in the kitchen. "Zac is still a scared little boy Natalie and he doesn't know what he wants and he probably never will. I'm not giving up my son because you think it could make him pick you in some silly fucked up war for Zac's heart."
Looking away from Taylor I run a hand a hand through my hair. Feeling the tears go down my cheek. "Then why would you give him Abe if you don't want him to have River?"
"I wasn't attached to Abe then," he answers me without even hesitating. "Abe was just some baby but River is the child I have raised since birth. I took him on as my own, signed the birth certificate knowing he wasn't mine. Knowing he was Zac's child. I loved him from the moment I held him. Zac could never love him like me. Anyway Zac's already ruined my marriage, fucked me over by loving you."
Before I can answer a voice pipes up from behind me, "Zac is River's father?" Kate asks which makes me turn around to face the woman who I have frayed relationship with already. She wasn't supposed to hear that. She wasn't supposed to know this.
"He is," I answer her before Taylor can even open his mouth and try to feed her some bullshit lie. "Zac is River's father," I whisper feeling my cheeks redden. I am ashamed that Kate is just now finding this out. I am ashamed that I have lied to her for this long.
Kate shakes her head looking to Taylor for confirmation which makes me turn to face him seeing him nod his head yes. He is confirming to Kate that her husband cheated before they were even married.
"That would mean..." Kate starts as she walks farther into the kitchen. "You slept with him before he married me. During our engagement," she realizes her voice sounding hurt almost. "When? How?"
At her asking when I shrug, "The night he got you to watch porn on creampie," I tell her feeling much like I had when I confessed the same thing to Taylor several years ago. "He showed up drunk on my door and I let him. We got to talking and one thing just lead to another. Before I knew it he was kissing me and I wasn't fighting him off. I thought I had taken my birth control that night but I didn't."
The silence after my confession is almost deafening. All I can do is watch as Kate's face changes from several different expressions. All of them making me scared for my life.
"Zac didn't know?" Kate asks finally breaking the silence. "I mean he had no clue...has no clue?"
I shake my head no, "Not that he's let on. He was too drunk to remember it."
Kate's eyes widen at that and she walks closer to me, slapping me hard across the face. A slap that can be heard echoing off the walls. "You took advantage of Zac," she hisses out. "You took advantage of him and have lied to him for years."
"I know," I counter as I hold my cheek, feeling more tears come out of my eyes. "I know I have but it was all Taylor's idea. I wanted to tell him twice before River was born. When I first found out and then again the day before he married you. Each time Taylor stopped me."
Kate nods as if she can accept Taylor's part in this, "I'm sure Taylor had his reasons. He had his reasons for lying about Abe."
"Abe," I mutter as I move my hand off my cheek. "A lie you told to Zac. I guess you are no better than me."
I watch as Kate swallows hard at my words. She knows she can't act like the saint she wants to come off as. Not when I know of her lie, not when I called her on it.
"I want to tell Zac about River now too," I confess.
Taylor laughs from behind me, "She only wants to tell him now because he is with Bethany. She thinks it will bring him back to her. I told her the bastard baby she is carrying now can't do it so thinking River could is stupid."
Kate shakes her head, "You have a point on it being stupid," she agrees with Taylor's last words. "But not because he won't leave Bethany. He'll be so pissed that he won't even take Natalie back...and I kind of want him too. She may be a backstabbing bitch but at least I can stand her around my kids. I don't want Bethany anywhere near them, not knowing her tendency to leak shit."
Hearing Kate say out loud that Zac won't take me back if he knows about River I frown. I have to admit she is right. Zac would be pissed, he'd see red even. If he left Kate over the Abraham lie then he'd never come back to me once he knew the River one. Maybe it is best if this lie now just stays between Kate, Taylor and I. It's done well being hidden for seven years, what's the rest of River's life matter?
Turning to Taylor again I sigh, "Guess today is your lucky day. You get to keep your son," I whisper sadly before turning to leave the kitchen. Not saying anything else I leave his house and go to my car. Getting in I drive off towards the house that will be mine all weekend.
It's kind of funny how my day has now turned out worse than it already was and how instead of being angry I feel sad. I'm sad knowing what a horrible person I am. Though even if I am horrible that doesn't stop me from wanting Zac. From wanting the man I love.
Pulling into my drive way I make a face as I park behind a familiar blue truck. Getting out of the car I head towards the porch where I find Zac sitting holding a stuffed teddy bear.
When he hears me reach him he looks up smiling, "I got this to say sorry that my kid is making you sick," he laughs holding the bear out to me. "And to say sorry I couldn't come here before now. I wanted too but I was meeting Bethany's mom..I didn't think it would be a good impression if I left to come help my knocked up ex-mistress. Anyway she had a gun and I was scared for my life."
Laughing I take the bear from him before sitting down beside him. "So does that mean Bethany knows about your knocked up ex-mistress?" I ask him as I lay my head on his shoulder.
"I may have told her a little too loudly the first night we were in Kentucky. That's what made her mom show me the gun," Zac informs me as he slips an arm around my waist. "How is the baby? How is the morning sickness?"
"The baby is great, the morning sickness not so much," I mutter as I move closer. At least now the morning sickness thing isn't a lie. Ever since I got sick after thinking of River's conception again I have had morning sickness every morning. Morning sickness that last at least until three pm.
Zac doesn't say anything to that, instead he kisses my forehead and we just sit in silence for the longest time. As we do I can't help but wonder if I am making the right choice in fighting for Zac. But the moment the thought crosses my mind I shake it off. I know I can't give up on him. I need him even if there is one very big lie standing in our way. A lie Zac will always be oblivious too.
The days after finding out that Zac is out of town seem to pass in a blur. A blur I blame on my anger. Anger that he didn't come back when I called him and left the message of needing him. Anger that he would push me aside for that god damn crazy hussy. I'm angry and hurt.
I know I shouldn't but I decide to take my anger out on Taylor when I drop the kids off at his house on Friday. He just seems so unsuspecting when he opens the door. He is wearing the smile I hate and that is enough ammo for me to use him as my target for being pissed off.
"Natalie," Taylor squeaks when he sees my glare. It's kind of funny how fast he drops the smile and moves slowly to let the kids inside. "D..did I do something wrong?" he asks motioning me inside. "I mean I don't think I did but if I did I'm sorry."
At his apology I roll my eyes, "When do you ever do anything right?" I snap out as I turn to face him, making sure he can't go too far in the house. "You've been ruining my life since I married you."
I notice Taylor flinch at my words but I don't stop. No I keep going. "You know how you ruined my life the most?" I ask him before crossing my arms.
"How?" Taylor asks me his voice staying low. "How did I ruin your life the most Natalie?"
Keeping my arms crossed I glare more, "By making me lie about River's paternity. If I had just told Zac the day before his wedding like I wanted to do then I could have left you a long time ago. I could be with Zac right now but no instead he is with some slut."
Taylor glares now obviously not liking my words or the fact that I am bringing this up. He has never liked the subject of River's paternity. He hadn't been none too happy when he found out I was pregnant. He knew when I found out not long after Christmas that I was expecting it wasn't his baby. He had still been holding out sex on me. It had been three months still since we had sex and I was only a few weeks. He had questioned me and like a scared girl I had confessed it all but he promised me we would get past it as long as Zac didn't know. We didn't want to ruin his happy upcoming marriage to Kate he claimed. That was why he was going to pretend. It was all for Zac and his happiness.
"I wanted to tell him Taylor. I wanted to tell him before he walked down that aisle. He had a right to know I was carrying his baby," I whisper feeling tears come into my eyes. "He has a right to know now."
"You think he'd chose you now if he knew River was his son?" Taylor asks as he raises his voice, pushing past me. "You think he'd do that? I mean hell he knows you are already carrying one bastard child and that hasn't changed his mind. Like you said he is with some slut," Taylor yells and I follow his voice, finding him in the kitchen. "Zac is still a scared little boy Natalie and he doesn't know what he wants and he probably never will. I'm not giving up my son because you think it could make him pick you in some silly fucked up war for Zac's heart."
Looking away from Taylor I run a hand a hand through my hair. Feeling the tears go down my cheek. "Then why would you give him Abe if you don't want him to have River?"
"I wasn't attached to Abe then," he answers me without even hesitating. "Abe was just some baby but River is the child I have raised since birth. I took him on as my own, signed the birth certificate knowing he wasn't mine. Knowing he was Zac's child. I loved him from the moment I held him. Zac could never love him like me. Anyway Zac's already ruined my marriage, fucked me over by loving you."
Before I can answer a voice pipes up from behind me, "Zac is River's father?" Kate asks which makes me turn around to face the woman who I have frayed relationship with already. She wasn't supposed to hear that. She wasn't supposed to know this.
"He is," I answer her before Taylor can even open his mouth and try to feed her some bullshit lie. "Zac is River's father," I whisper feeling my cheeks redden. I am ashamed that Kate is just now finding this out. I am ashamed that I have lied to her for this long.
Kate shakes her head looking to Taylor for confirmation which makes me turn to face him seeing him nod his head yes. He is confirming to Kate that her husband cheated before they were even married.
"That would mean..." Kate starts as she walks farther into the kitchen. "You slept with him before he married me. During our engagement," she realizes her voice sounding hurt almost. "When? How?"
At her asking when I shrug, "The night he got you to watch porn on creampie," I tell her feeling much like I had when I confessed the same thing to Taylor several years ago. "He showed up drunk on my door and I let him. We got to talking and one thing just lead to another. Before I knew it he was kissing me and I wasn't fighting him off. I thought I had taken my birth control that night but I didn't."
The silence after my confession is almost deafening. All I can do is watch as Kate's face changes from several different expressions. All of them making me scared for my life.
"Zac didn't know?" Kate asks finally breaking the silence. "I mean he had no clue...has no clue?"
I shake my head no, "Not that he's let on. He was too drunk to remember it."
Kate's eyes widen at that and she walks closer to me, slapping me hard across the face. A slap that can be heard echoing off the walls. "You took advantage of Zac," she hisses out. "You took advantage of him and have lied to him for years."
"I know," I counter as I hold my cheek, feeling more tears come out of my eyes. "I know I have but it was all Taylor's idea. I wanted to tell him twice before River was born. When I first found out and then again the day before he married you. Each time Taylor stopped me."
Kate nods as if she can accept Taylor's part in this, "I'm sure Taylor had his reasons. He had his reasons for lying about Abe."
"Abe," I mutter as I move my hand off my cheek. "A lie you told to Zac. I guess you are no better than me."
I watch as Kate swallows hard at my words. She knows she can't act like the saint she wants to come off as. Not when I know of her lie, not when I called her on it.
"I want to tell Zac about River now too," I confess.
Taylor laughs from behind me, "She only wants to tell him now because he is with Bethany. She thinks it will bring him back to her. I told her the bastard baby she is carrying now can't do it so thinking River could is stupid."
Kate shakes her head, "You have a point on it being stupid," she agrees with Taylor's last words. "But not because he won't leave Bethany. He'll be so pissed that he won't even take Natalie back...and I kind of want him too. She may be a backstabbing bitch but at least I can stand her around my kids. I don't want Bethany anywhere near them, not knowing her tendency to leak shit."
Hearing Kate say out loud that Zac won't take me back if he knows about River I frown. I have to admit she is right. Zac would be pissed, he'd see red even. If he left Kate over the Abraham lie then he'd never come back to me once he knew the River one. Maybe it is best if this lie now just stays between Kate, Taylor and I. It's done well being hidden for seven years, what's the rest of River's life matter?
Turning to Taylor again I sigh, "Guess today is your lucky day. You get to keep your son," I whisper sadly before turning to leave the kitchen. Not saying anything else I leave his house and go to my car. Getting in I drive off towards the house that will be mine all weekend.
It's kind of funny how my day has now turned out worse than it already was and how instead of being angry I feel sad. I'm sad knowing what a horrible person I am. Though even if I am horrible that doesn't stop me from wanting Zac. From wanting the man I love.
Pulling into my drive way I make a face as I park behind a familiar blue truck. Getting out of the car I head towards the porch where I find Zac sitting holding a stuffed teddy bear.
When he hears me reach him he looks up smiling, "I got this to say sorry that my kid is making you sick," he laughs holding the bear out to me. "And to say sorry I couldn't come here before now. I wanted too but I was meeting Bethany's mom..I didn't think it would be a good impression if I left to come help my knocked up ex-mistress. Anyway she had a gun and I was scared for my life."
Laughing I take the bear from him before sitting down beside him. "So does that mean Bethany knows about your knocked up ex-mistress?" I ask him as I lay my head on his shoulder.
"I may have told her a little too loudly the first night we were in Kentucky. That's what made her mom show me the gun," Zac informs me as he slips an arm around my waist. "How is the baby? How is the morning sickness?"
"The baby is great, the morning sickness not so much," I mutter as I move closer. At least now the morning sickness thing isn't a lie. Ever since I got sick after thinking of River's conception again I have had morning sickness every morning. Morning sickness that last at least until three pm.
Zac doesn't say anything to that, instead he kisses my forehead and we just sit in silence for the longest time. As we do I can't help but wonder if I am making the right choice in fighting for Zac. But the moment the thought crosses my mind I shake it off. I know I can't give up on him. I need him even if there is one very big lie standing in our way. A lie Zac will always be oblivious too.